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Funny Status To Impress Gi Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Status To Impress Gi" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want 2 impress that beautiful girl , which machine can I use?" Trainer replies: "Use the ATM"
Unknown
2463 Likes
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Dear shaving commercials, stop shaving hairless legs. If you want impress us, please shave a gorilla.
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499 Likes
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OH NICE, so you can update your status via mobile, but you cant text me back?
Unknown
876 Likes
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Saying I don't take my meds because they make me feel funny. Is like cannibals saying they don't eat clowns because the taste funny.
Stanley Victor Paskavich
405 Likes
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When I was a kid, I used to sing, 'A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, ELEMENO, P'
Unknown
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Going to McDonald's for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.
Unknown
1203 Likes
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There are two types of human beings found on Facebook. One who gets enormous amount of likes and comments on their posts. And the others are men.
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The best time to look for a job is when you already have one. Men apply the same theory to looking for a girlfriend.
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931 Likes
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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
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222 Likes
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I wonder if the clothes in China say, 'Made around the corner.'
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919 Likes
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Before s.... you help each other get naked, after s.. you only dress yourself. Moral of the story: in life no one helps you once you're fu..ed.
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2197 Likes
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Spent the entire night trying to create a website for women drivers, but it kept crashing.
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696 Likes
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It's a recipe for disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny jean fad.
Unknown
842 Likes
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We do not recruit. We can only impress.
Marga Gomez
10 Likes
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My 'check engine' light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and the engine is still there.
Unknown
546 Likes
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I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching...my car into reverse and driving away from the accident.
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563 Likes
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All our life our parents told us not to write on walls. Facebook teaches us differently.
Unknown
287 Likes
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Facebook needs a Drama of the day section in my news feed.
Unknown
501 Likes
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Facebook's timeline is my favorite way to watch girls from high school get fat.
Unknown
723 Likes
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Why do you think the old stories tell of men who set out on great journeys to impress the gods? Because trying to impress people just isn't worth the time and effort.
Henry Rollins
17 Likes
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