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Jesus Funny Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Jesus Funny" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
If you can't take control, let Jesus take the wheel and hope he's not drunk.
Unknown
38 Likes
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When your crying yourself to sleep, know that Jesus is lending his shoulder to you. When your pushed to the ground, know that Jesus is holding out his hands to you. When you feel like dying, know that Jesus died to let you live. When you feel like no one loves you, know that Jesus loves you more than you can imagine.
Taylor Greger
56 Likes
Abuse quotes
You may never know that JESUS is all you need, until JESUS is all you have.
Ritu Ghatourey
103 Likes
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I liked The DaVinci Code. It just had the concept. The core element of the concept of the book deals with whether or not Jesus had relatives and how they had to hide in these paintings every connection that came or might have led back to Jesus, and its crazy to me that they do shit like that. Is it because Jesus really aint no white boy and hes black? The Old Testament describes him as a black man. The New Testament, the King James version, is some ol funny-style shit. Just for the record, King James was, from my understanding, a homos..ual. I dont knock that, I just dont live by that. I follow the Old Testament.
Busta Rhymes
5 Likes
In Jesus Christ and Jesus Christ alone forgiveness of sin and guilt is possible. Eternal life is possible in Jesus Christ alone.
Unknown
12 Likes
Jesus Christ quotes
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I'm a Muslim, but do you think Jesus would love me? I think Jesus would have a drink with me and discuss why are you acting like that? Now, he would be cool. He would talk to me. No Christian ever did that and said in the name of Jesus even. They'd throw me in jail and write bad articles about me and then go to church on Sunday and say Jesus is a wonderful man and he's coming back to save us. But they don't understand that when he comes back, that these crazy greedy capitalistic men are gonna kill him again.
Mike Tyson
140 Likes
Drink quotes
At the end of the day, the most important relationship we can have is the one with our lord and savior Jesus Christ.
Unknown
23 Likes
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We will never be truly happy until we make God through Jesus Christ the source of our fulfillment.
Unknown
22 Likes
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A big shout out goes to my Lord Jesus Christ for always being with and putting up with me!
Unknown
84 Likes
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Thank you lord for waking me up this morning. Please help me to focus on being more like you and resist any temptations of the devil that come my way today. Cover me with your blood jesus and just help me to keep your commands. In Jesus name I pray, amen
Unknown
408 Likes
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Being a Christian is so much more than saying, 'I love Jesus.' You must LIVE for Him daily. When people see you they should see Jesus, too.
Unknown
37 Likes
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Jesus Saves, but I Recycle!
Unknown
20 Likes
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After Jesus, you're my second-favorite Jew.
Unknown
14 Likes
Funny Easter quotes
It's made me more expectant of the imminent return of Jesus, and also more sensitive to the people around me. Knowing Jesus will return soon makes me want all the more to tell people about him and all that he offers.
Jerry B Jenkins
10 Likes
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I hope you have a better Good Friday than Jesus did.
Unknown
54 Likes
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In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ according to the purpose of his will to the praise of his glorious grace.
Unknown
9 Likes
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A lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus. Suck it, Jesus. This award is my God now!
Kathy Griffin
4 Likes
It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. It's funny how good memories can make you cry, it's funny how forever never seems to last, it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past, it's funny how friends can just leave when you're down, it's funny how when you need someone they never are around, it's funny how people change and think they're so much better, it's funny how some many lies are packed into one love letter, it's funny how one night can hold so much regret, it's funny how you can forgive but not forget, it's funny how ironic life turns out to be, but the funniest part of all, is that none of that is funny to me.
Unknown
565 Likes
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A real miracle would be Jesus turning water into less expensive gasoline.
Unknown
25 Likes
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I wonder if Jesus will make a special appearance on The Walking Dead this Sunday.
Unknown
56 Likes
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