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Joel Osteen Phyllis Diller Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Joel Osteen Phyllis Diller" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
You know you're old if your walker has an airbag.
Phyllis Diller
2 Likes
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Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
Phyllis Diller
2 Likes
I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing.
Phyllis Diller
4 Likes
My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.
Phyllis Diller
4 Likes
You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.
Phyllis Diller
6 Likes
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Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.
Phyllis Diller
6 Likes
Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
Phyllis Diller
3 Likes
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
Phyllis Diller
3 Likes
A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
Phyllis Diller
2 Likes
Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.
Phyllis Diller
3 Likes
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I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
Phyllis Diller
2 Likes
I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.
Phyllis Diller
2 Likes
The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.
Phyllis Diller
3 Likes
His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.
Phyllis Diller
4 Likes
Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.
Phyllis Diller
7 Likes
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Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
Phyllis Diller
5 Likes
What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
Phyllis Diller
9 Likes
Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.
Phyllis Diller
3 Likes
The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing at you.
Phyllis Diller
7 Likes
Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children.
Phyllis Diller
2 Likes
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