How Much Cocaine Does Charlie Sheen Do? Enough To Kill Two And A Half Men...

I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be Nobody so when I see stupid crap people post, I can Like it. And it will say Nobody Likes This.

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If people could read my mind, I'd get punched in the face a lot.

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I never get jealous when I see my ex with someone else, because my parents always taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate.

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Unless your name is GOOGLE...stop acting like you KNOW EVERYTHING...

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When going to work has become a nice break from Facebook, it's safe to say you're a Facebook junkie.

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I hate weddings. Old people would poke me saying You're next. They stopped when I started going up to them at funerals and poking them, saying, You're next.

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Before Facebook, I had told maybe six people Happy Birthday, ever.

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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, No mutual friends, Who the f*ck are you?

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I wouldn't need Facebook if there was a website that just told me whether or not my exes got fat.

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I love facebook because it helps me remember what I did the night before when I blacked out.

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Wanna come over to MySpace and Twitter my Yahoo till I Google all over your Facebook?

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Facebook is the only place where it's acceptable to talk to a wall.

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2882 Likes

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