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I never married because I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.
Marie Corelli
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If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
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A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.
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In many instances, marriage vows would be more accurate if the phrase were changed to 'Until debt do us part'.
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Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards.
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I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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