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Forget the past cause you can't change it...and forget the present...cause I didn't get you one.
Drake
305 Likes
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Dear google, can u just let me write my sentence before u start guessing...
Unknown
247 Likes
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That awkward moment when sluts hate on other sluts for being sluts...
Unknown
265 Likes
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I gave that bi... a plunger, 'cause bi...es love bringing up old sh...
Unknown
264 Likes
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Hey Vegetarians, my food sh..s on your food.
Unknown
348 Likes
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Dear Pringles, Now that I am no longer a child, I can no longer fit my hand inside your tube of deliciousness. Work on that.
Unknown
181 Likes
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My internet went down yesterday. I think my neighbor forgot to pay the bill. How irresponsible...
Unknown
180 Likes
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Roses are red, Facebook is blue...you look bangable, so I'll add you.
Unknown
239 Likes
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When people say life is short. What the hell??? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!!! What can you do thats longer?
Unknown
401 Likes
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So the Titanic is coming out again but in 3D...I wonder if they will see the iceburg this time...
Unknown
178 Likes
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The word swag is soo stupid. Swag is just a way for a man, to call another man sexy, and not feel gay about it.
Unknown
253 Likes
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Do not touch MY iPhone. It's not an usPhone, it's not a wePhone, it's not an ourPhone. It's an iPhone.
Ritu Ghatourey
268 Likes
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Shout out to the dudes trying get laid via Facebook picture comments, you keep working on that grind, your time will come...
Unknown
407 Likes
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Your face is not a coloring book. Chill with the makeup!
Unknown
177 Likes
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What's better Google or Yahoo???? Wait I'll google it !!!
Unknown
159 Likes
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Actually no, my status wasn't aimed at you, but hey, if the shoe fits, feel free to wear it.
Unknown
195 Likes
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Sure God created man before woman, but then again you always make a rough draft before creating the final masterpiece.
Unknown
225 Likes
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Who decided that paper beats rock? Have someone hold up a sheet of paper in front of their face, then throw a rock at it. Who wins?
Unknown
137 Likes
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Walmart: Let's buy 30 cash registers...and only keep two open!
Unknown
132 Likes
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There's always that one kid in PE class who thinks it's the fu..ing Olympics. Calm. The. fu... Down.
Unknown
170 Likes
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