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Witty Facebook Status Quotes & Sayings
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Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.
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128 Likes
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Liking your own status, is like high-fiving yourself in public...
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201 Likes
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At times I feel that waiting for the right person in life is like waiting for boat at the airport.
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131 Likes
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I hate it when I don't forward chain messages and I die the next day.
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136 Likes
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Girls are like Google. They start guessing before you end the sentence.
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163 Likes
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My girlfriend asked me to make her feel special...so I gave her a helmet and crayons.
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204 Likes
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Me, fail english? UNPOSSIBLE!
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114 Likes
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Try to say the letter 'M' without your lips touching.
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123 Likes
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I like most people as long as they're not behind a steering wheel or a keyboard.
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213 Likes
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Advice for the day: If you have a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two, and KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN.
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128 Likes
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I'm not single and I'm not committed... I'm simply on reserve for the one who deserves...
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102 Likes
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I can't really remember, but I think my life must have been a lot more productive before I discovered Facebook...
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96 Likes
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I didn't fall, I attacked the floor.
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83 Likes
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Opinions are like orgasms. Mine's the most important and I really don't care about yours.
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90 Likes
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My alarm clock & I had a fight. It wanted me to get up, I refused. Things escalated. Now I'm awake & its broken. Not sure who won the fight.
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Objects in profile pics are not as pretty as they appear.
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88 Likes
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If bars don't serve drunk people, I dont think McDonald's should be able to serve fat people.
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142 Likes
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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
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75 Likes
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As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
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80 Likes
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Dear Facebook, thanks for reminding me why moving away from my hometown was the best decision ever.
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106 Likes
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