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Dane Cook Quotes & Sayings

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41 entries tagged including 7 subtopics.
Last updated Dec 2023

Dane Cook Topics

Humor
Spontaneity
Valentines Day
Funny
Jokes
Silly

QUOTES

I'm really great in other peoples relationships.

7 Likes

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When I'm wrong I'm like the Emperor on the Death Star thinking he'll turn Luke. Yet, when I'm right I'm a Jedi like my father before me.

7 Likes

Dear girl seductively sucking a lollipop in her pics. WE GET IT. It's a c*ck. A yummy peen. Too nail on the head.

36 Likes

I don't hate anyone. I simply block them out using hellish visions in a blind white rage. But if I see them out I'm pleasant.

8 Likes

Some girls look beautiful with no makeup on at all. I call them lazy. Now go throw some war paint on you bleak empty canvas you

23 Likes

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If you're 1 of the 3 girls in pics with a greaseball whose arms are around you at a club you lose at life. If you're the greaseball you win.

14 Likes

Dear semi hot girl taking photos on a boat. It's not your boat so stop acting like you own it. You drive a used Civic.

32 Likes

I just mixed a 5 hour energy drink with some sleepy time tea. Let's see who wins this battle.

30 Likes

I won't take no for a question.

7 Likes

I never leave a dog alone in a car on a hot day. I make sure it's with an elderly person holding a baby.

76 Likes

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Sometimes girls act all TNT Network because they know drama. Thats when guys get all TBS around you because we think its very funny.

6 Likes

Its an incredible feeling falling in love someone who doesnt know you exist.

8 Likes

Ive been ignoring my feelings lately. That works pretty well. Might also settle for less this week, just to try it out.

9 Likes

You must accept responsibility for your actions. This doesn't include reactions, interactions or transactions if you're thinkin' loophole.

3 Likes

It's easy to point the finger at someone else & place blame. Go head try it it's fun. Pick anyone & start blame placing the shit outta them.

7 Likes

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How great if, as well as creating life in their womb, a woman could use her vagina to make hot fudge sundaes.

6 Likes

To make boxing training more exciting my trainer dresses as a ninja and yells, 'Ive never felt pain like this!! Who is this human!?'

5 Likes

I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day.

9 Likes

Valentine's Day is a time to celebrate the joy of being in love. Unless you're single & lonely then it's called Laundry Day.

108 Likes

Valentines Day quotes

You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh.

2 Likes

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