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Dane Cook Quotes & Sayings
41 entries tagged including 7 subtopics.
Last updated Jun 2021
Dane Cook Topics
I'm really great in other peoples relationships.
When I'm wrong I'm like the Emperor on the Death Star thinking he'll turn Luke. Yet, when I'm right I'm a Jedi like my father before me.
Dear girl seductively sucking a lollipop in her pics. WE GET IT. It's a c*ck. A yummy peen. Too nail on the head.
I don't hate anyone. I simply block them out using hellish visions in a blind white rage. But if I see them out I'm pleasant.
Some girls look beautiful with no makeup on at all. I call them lazy. Now go throw some war paint on you bleak empty canvas you
If you're 1 of the 3 girls in pics with a greaseball whose arms are around you at a club you lose at life. If you're the greaseball you win.
Dear semi hot girl taking photos on a boat. It's not your boat so stop acting like you own it. You drive a used Civic.
I just mixed a 5 hour energy drink with some sleepy time tea. Let's see who wins this battle.
I won't take no for a question.
I never leave a dog alone in a car on a hot day. I make sure it's with an elderly person holding a baby.
Sometimes girls act all TNT Network because they know drama. Thats when guys get all TBS around you because we think its very funny.
Its an incredible feeling falling in love someone who doesnt know you exist.
Ive been ignoring my feelings lately. That works pretty well. Might also settle for less this week, just to try it out.
You must accept responsibility for your actions. This doesn't include reactions, interactions or transactions if you're thinkin' loophole.
It's easy to point the finger at someone else & place blame. Go head try it it's fun. Pick anyone & start blame placing the shit outta them.
How great if, as well as creating life in their womb, a woman could use her vagina to make hot fudge sundaes.
To make boxing training more exciting my trainer dresses as a ninja and yells, 'Ive never felt pain like this!! Who is this human!?'
I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day.
Valentine's Day is a time to celebrate the joy of being in love. Unless you're single & lonely then it's called Laundry Day.
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You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh.
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