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Accountant Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Accountant Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
I spend 90 percent of my time saying no, and my accountant yells at me for it, but when I started in this business, I wanted my career to have legs.
Omar Epps
5 Likes
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My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it. I never did like to work, and I don't deny it. I'd rather read, tell stories, crack jokes, talk, laugh - anything but work.
Abraham Lincoln
271 Likes
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I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one.
Marilyn Monroe
100 Likes
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I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one.
Marilyn Monroe
304 Likes
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Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period.
Unknown
1251 Likes
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Our show was - it remained - you know, kids could watch it and laugh at it. And they wouldn't know - they wouldn't get the jokes. But they would laugh at it. So they tell me now they have grown up and they're watching it. Now they get the jokes. But we didn't say anything blatant.
Rue McClanahan
1 Likes
My dad is a bank president and my mom was an accountant and they didn't think that seeking the life of a freelance writer was very practical, you see. Of course, I was just as determined to do it.
Kevin J Anderson
20 Likes
One day my wife went and saw the accountant and said she's pulling the plug. She said you guys are done. I said, how bad can it be? 10 grand? She said you're not even close. It came out to almost $50,000 in alcohol for two months.
Zakk Wylde
3 Likes
I think of myself as a writer with a sense of humor rather than a comedy writer. Happy to tell a story with lots of jokes in it, I wouldn't know how to do jokes without the story.
Steven Moffat
6 Likes
Slut jokes are just whor..able.
Unknown
524 Likes
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No, I'm not rich. I had a tax problem in this country, curiously enough, and my accountant said the British government was patently wrong in taxing me, and they were, but we couldn't persuade them and it cost me everything I had.
Donald Sutherland
1 Likes
My money goes to my agent, then to my accountant and from him to the tax man.
Glenda Jackson
8 Likes
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My money goes to my agent, then to my accountant and from him to the tax man.
Glenda Jackson
1 Likes
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People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.
Ellen DeGeneres
2727 Likes
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For almost anyone who chooses to be a writer, since so very few writers are able to learn a living from their work that is equivalent to the living earned by the average dentist or accountant.
Russell Banks
6 Likes
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I do what I do, and write what I write, without calculating what is worth what and so on. Fortunately, I am not a banker or an accountant. I feel that there is a time when a political statement needs to be made and I make it.
Arundhati Roy
2 Likes
April is tax month. If you are having trouble filing your taxes, then you should hire an accountant. They'll give you the same advice that they've given hundreds of corporations - taxes are for douche bags.
Ed Helms
2 Likes
And the big issue here, I think, is that the publisher took over the editorial pages, a guy named Jeff Johnson. He's an accountant from Chicago, doesn't know anything about what newspapers are supposed to be about, and he made a decision to get rid of the column.
Robert Scheer
1 Likes
See I promised I wouldnt cop another chain. But the all I spend on these VVSs got me in that complex page, you see? For the price of fame. When that Bugatti dropped my accountant stopped me for a second and said not today not today.
Wale
14 Likes
I know we're not saints or virgins or lunatics; we know all the lust and lavatory jokes, and most of the dirty people; we can catch buses and count our change and cross the roads and talk real sentences. But our innocence goes awfully deep, and our discreditable secret is that we don't know anything at all, and our horrid inner secret is that we don't care that we don't.
Dylan Thomas
77 Likes
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