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Carlin Retirement Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Carlin Retirement" sorted by relevance. 337 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
George Carlin
6 Likes
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Think off-center.
George Carlin
3 Likes
One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.
George Carlin
2 Likes
If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.
George Carlin
6 Likes
If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
George Carlin
0 Likes
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What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?
George Carlin
20 Likes
Funny quotes
The status quo sucks.
George Carlin
10 Likes
Religion is just mind control.
George Carlin
2 Likes
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
George Carlin
3 Likes
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
George Carlin
8 Likes
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There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.
George Carlin
2 Likes
The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
George Carlin
6 Likes
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
George Carlin
11 Likes
The caterpillar does all the work but the butterfly gets all the publicity
George Carlin
5 Likes
Advertising quotes
I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.
George Carlin
10 Likes
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I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work.
George Carlin
8 Likes
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it
George Carlin
14 Likes
God quotes
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
George Carlin
10 Likes
You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
George Carlin
6 Likes
In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
George Carlin
10 Likes
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