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Daniel Tosh Plane Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Daniel Tosh Plane" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad.
Daniel Tosh
42 Likes
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Finding my dog's g spot is taking way longer than I would care to admit.
Daniel Tosh
28 Likes
Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger
Daniel Tosh
38 Likes
Relatives quotes
In Los Angeles they don't throw out their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
Daniel Tosh
43 Likes
I'm not saying I'm smarter than Steve Jobs was, but I would have made the iPhone charger cord twice as long.
Daniel Tosh
49 Likes
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My act is very educational. I heard a man leaving the other night saying, Well that taught me a lesson.
Daniel Tosh
20 Likes
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny ...'
Daniel Tosh
18 Likes
models: I'm not voting for you for any stupid magazine list! If you were really that Hot you wouldn't have to beg the world to stuff the ballot.
Daniel Tosh
14 Likes
Okay, I'm going to let you in on a little secret: I'm a very superstitious person. I'm walking onto the plane as we speak. I'm putting my hands on the outside of the plane and my feet are on the lip of the plane. I have to do it every time before I fly.
Jessica Chastain
1 Likes
If the minimum wasn't acceptable it wouldn't be called the minimum.
Daniel Tosh
34 Likes
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Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison.
Daniel Tosh
33 Likes
School quotes
Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.
Daniel Tosh
31 Likes
Men who don't understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.
Daniel Tosh
58 Likes
Husbands quotes
The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault.
Daniel Tosh
42 Likes
Funny quotes
Faults quotes
Celebrity quotes
In Los Angeles they don't throw out their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
Daniel Tosh
41 Likes
Television quotes
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Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.
Daniel Tosh
44 Likes
Doing a book signing tomorrow at Barnes & Noble. Bring your own book...I haven't written one yet.
Daniel Tosh
81 Likes
Funny quotes
Writing quotes
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Humor quotes
Flying back from New York, the flight attendant said 'God, I wished you were here yesterday, we had a stroke on the plane. I said, if I have a stroke on a plane, I hope the pretend doctor isn't the one on the plane. I want a real doctor.
Anthony Edwards
9 Likes
The day I notice a cyclist obey a stop sign is the day I'll stop enjoying watching them bounce off my hood.
Daniel Tosh
65 Likes
I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!
Daniel Tosh
123 Likes
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