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Funny Facebook Status Alarm Clocks Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Facebook Status Alarm Clocks" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Facebook is like boys, once you understand them they change.
Hussein Nishah
118 Likes
Facebook quotes
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All women crave attention, but Twitter and Facebook exposes all the women that can't function without it.
Mitchell Perry
457 Likes
Women quotes
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Showing your friend a funny video on YouTube and constantly checking their face to make sure they're enjoying it...
Unknown
1081 Likes
Facebook Status quotes
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That awkward moment, when you're walking through the metal detector and your abs of steel set it off.
Unknown
436 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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Vodka-$19.99. Motel-$54.99. Condoms-$2.99. Finding Out She Swallows... PRICELESS!!!!! fu.. Visa, It Pays To Discover!!!!!
Unknown
706 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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Dear vending machines, I'm sorry if my dollar isn't straight enough for you. Sincerely, stop being so homophobic.
Unknown
662 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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A man asked a fairy to make him desirable & irresistible to all women. She turned him into a credit card.
Unknown
471 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Let's promise we'll always stay close friends but ultimately settle for periodic glances at each other's Facebook status updates.
Unknown
27 Likes
Funny quotes
Graduation quotes
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'! Unless you wanna slam a revolving door, then that's not going to happen.
Unknown
198 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: 'Jim's whor.. house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.'
Unknown
558 Likes
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Mitt Romney should change his first name to Fetch, because he's never going to happen.
Unknown
113 Likes
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My dog thinks I am patting his belly...little does he know I am playing the most epic drum solo of all time.
Unknown
181 Likes
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That awkward moment when a black kid asks you to pass the skin colored crayon.
Unknown
264 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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I probably could stand a chance on American Idol if I could bring my shower on stage.
Unknown
479 Likes
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Snooki is expecting her baby on December 21, 2012. I guess the Mayans knew what they were talking about...
Unknown
576 Likes
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I love it when I buy a bag of air & the company is nice enough to put some chips in.
Unknown
586 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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I let some blind guy borrow money the other day. He said he was gonna pay me back the next time he saw me.....Wait.....
Unknown
573 Likes
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If the professor doesn't show up to class in the first 15 minutes, you get to leave. Somebody make that a law, please.
Unknown
121 Likes
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My Lesbian neighbors asked me what I wanted for my Birthday. They gave me a Rolex. I think they misunderstood when I said "I wanna watch."
Unknown
1197 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
I wonder if Chinese tourists get upset when they buy a souvenir from America and find out it was made in China...
Unknown
364 Likes
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