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Funny Saint Pattys Day Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Saint Pattys Day" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Happy Mother's Day to someone whose maternity clothes were much less embarrassing than Kim Kardashian's are.
Unknown
12 Likes
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Let's make this a special Father's Day by getting together to violently root against the Miami Heat.
Unknown
9 Likes
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If you see a man in glasses only walking back into your apartment building from day to day, its probably superman.
Unknown
5 Likes
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February 13 should be international condom day.
Mario Tomasello
264 Likes
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Happy Father's Day to someone who knew long before me that all the boys I brought home were jerks.
Unknown
26 Likes
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Valentine's Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is.
Unknown
43 Likes
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Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.
Jay Leno
18 Likes
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The world's a better place, because of folk like you. Who take the time to do nice things, the way you always do. Happy Boss Day!
Unknown
8 Likes
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I hope being self-employed on Boss's Day doesn't make you feel even lonelier than usual.
Unknown
5 Likes
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Happy Father's Day to a wonderful husband who no matter what having kids has done to my body still seems to want to nail me.
Unknown
27 Likes
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If you're sad about being alone on Valentines Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.
Azgraybebly Joslan
1014 Likes
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Start the day off right...On the toilet...Shitting out yesterday's bullshit getting ready to digest today.
Marlon Wayans
65 Likes
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May your Boss's Day consist of terrified employees awkwardly lavishing you with gifts they can barely afford.
Unknown
5 Likes
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Night, the beloved. Night, when words fade and things come alive. When the destructive analysis of day is done, and all that is truly important becomes whole and sound again. When man reassembles his fragmentary self and grows with the calm of a tree.
Antoine De Saint-Exupery
0 Likes
I smile because you're my Mother. I laugh because there's nothing you can do about it. Happy Mom's Day!
Unknown
245 Likes
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I carry a magnum size condom in my purse like a modern day glass slipper. Some day my prince will come.
Unknown
412 Likes
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Valentine's Day money-saving tip: Break up on February 13th, get back together on the 15th.
David Letterman
106 Likes
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Im choosing my words carefully cause Im sure, when it comes to being naked with Jennifer Aniston, they will be printed. But, believe it or not, it was just really silly, fun, funny and entertaining, at the end of the day.
Charlie Day
261 Likes
Ever have that one friend who gets a Valentine's Day gift for their mother? Doens't that freak you out a little? It's like, 'I don't know how to break this to you but I think she's banging your dad!
Russ Meneve
64 Likes
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Those special people who believe in others give them the courage to succeed. It really means a lot to work with someone who's so understanding & supportive. Have a Great Day
Unknown
15 Likes
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