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Funny Statuses For Fb Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Statuses For Fb" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
Will Rogers
2276 Likes
Funny quotes
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I think I'm funny because my family, my siblings were funny.
Martin Short
14 Likes
It's not about trying to be funny all the time. It's more of a document that hopefully is funny.
David Cross
2 Likes
My New Year's resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year's resolutions.
Unknown
52 Likes
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Taylor Swift seems like the type of chick that would poke a hole in a condom.
Unknown
340 Likes
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That awkward moment when you're checking yourself out in the window of another car and realize there's someone inside.
Unknown
631 Likes
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It's been said good things come to those who wait... All I have to say is whatever is coming to me,better be freaking fantastic!
Nishan Panwar
547 Likes
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I accidentally bumped into my ex today...With my car...at 60mph...on purpose.
Unknown
933 Likes
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My wife is funny. And I dabble in it. So being funny is big around our house. But what's surprised me is my daughter can do an English accent. I don't know how she learned this.
Jerry Seinfeld
6 Likes
Relationships are like fat people, most of them don't work out.
Unknown
2419 Likes
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I just wanna be rich enough to have Morgan Freeman read me bedtime stories.
Unknown
255 Likes
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Parent: What did you learn today? Student: Apparently not enough! We have to go back tomorrow!
Unknown
1256 Likes
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It's funny, when people talk about the 70s I can tell you the year of every album but when it comes to the later efforts I can't remember the exact years, it's funny isn't it?
Steve Hackett
9 Likes
Sometimes, when my underwear matches my outfit, it makes me feel like I really have my life together.
Unknown
281 Likes
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My alarm clock is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed.
Unknown
2332 Likes
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When my girlfriend and I fight, I tighten the top to every jar and bottle in the house. Just so I can say "Oh yeah, you need me NOW, huh?"
Unknown
1346 Likes
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Nascar would be so much more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells.
Unknown
170 Likes
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Sati is hilarious all the time. She has a great sense of humor. She knows she's funny, too. Like whenever she does something cute, she gets this smile on her face and announces, 'Funny baby!'
Alyson Hannigan
9 Likes
My bed and I have a special relationship, we're perfect for each other. But my alarm clock just hates seeing us together.
Unknown
509 Likes
Funny quotes
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You put funny people in funny costumes and paint them green and we could talk about anything we wanted to, because that was the only thing that fascinated Gene about this particular genre.
Majel Barrett
107 Likes
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