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Funny Valaentines Day Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Valaentines Day" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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February 13 should be international condom day.
Mario Tomasello
264 Likes
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I do like any kind of project that has both comedy and drama in it because in life you don't have one day where everything is funny then the next day everything is dramatic.
Topher Grace
0 Likes
Let's make this a special Father's Day by getting together to violently root against the Miami Heat.
Unknown
9 Likes
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I'd be honored to buy you a Father's Day meal with the credit card you pay for.
Unknown
14 Likes
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Feel free to celebrate Boss's Day by blaming me for one of your many mistakes today.
Unknown
28 Likes
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Happy Mother's Day to someone whose maternity clothes were much less embarrassing than Kim Kardashian's are.
Unknown
12 Likes
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Please let me know in advance if you want to invite any secret love children to your Father's Day brunch.
Unknown
10 Likes
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Happy Mother's Day to someone who carried me for 9 months physically and for 29 years financially.
Unknown
22 Likes
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Happy Father's Day to someone who knew long before me that all the boys I brought home were jerks.
Unknown
26 Likes
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I hope being self-employed on Boss's Day doesn't make you feel even lonelier than usual.
Unknown
5 Likes
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Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.
Jay Leno
18 Likes
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Happy Father's Day to a wonderful husband who no matter what having kids has done to my body still seems to want to nail me.
Unknown
27 Likes
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Valentine's Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is.
Unknown
43 Likes
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The world's a better place, because of folk like you. Who take the time to do nice things, the way you always do. Happy Boss Day!
Unknown
8 Likes
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If you're sad about being alone on Valentines Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.
Azgraybebly Joslan
1014 Likes
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Start the day off right...On the toilet...Shitting out yesterday's bullshit getting ready to digest today.
Marlon Wayans
65 Likes
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May your Boss's Day consist of terrified employees awkwardly lavishing you with gifts they can barely afford.
Unknown
5 Likes
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I smile because you're my Mother. I laugh because there's nothing you can do about it. Happy Mom's Day!
Unknown
245 Likes
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I carry a magnum size condom in my purse like a modern day glass slipper. Some day my prince will come.
Unknown
412 Likes
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Valentine's Day money-saving tip: Break up on February 13th, get back together on the 15th.
David Letterman
106 Likes
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