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George Carlin Pets A Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "George Carlin Pets A" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.
George Carlin
21 Likes
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If a movie is described as a romantic comedy you can usually find me next door playing pinball.
George Carlin
3 Likes
Movies quotes
When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I always wondered who got his horse.
George Carlin
9 Likes
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I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose
George Carlin
5 Likes
Libraries quotes
When I got out of high school they retired my jersey, but it was for hygiene and sanitary reasons
George Carlin
5 Likes
Reason quotes
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I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
George Carlin
1 Likes
The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept.
George Carlin
23 Likes
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If a movie is described as a romantic comedy you can usually find me next door playing pinball
George Carlin
0 Likes
Movies quotes
Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything.
Paris Hilton
63 Likes
Women quotes
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
George Carlin
5 Likes
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The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.
George Carlin
6 Likes
Restaurants quotes
I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
George Carlin
10 Likes
Religion quotes
The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
George Carlin
9 Likes
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam.
George Carlin
280 Likes
Christian quotes
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One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
George Carlin
25 Likes
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When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I always wondered who got his horse
George Carlin
21 Likes
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The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election.
George Carlin
10 Likes
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
George Carlin
21 Likes
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The problem with loving is that pets don't last long enough and people last too long.
Aeschylus
24 Likes
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The problem with loving is that pets don't last long enough and people last too long.
E E Cummings
12 Likes
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