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George Carlin Pets A Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "George Carlin Pets A" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes
George Carlin
10 Likes
Children quotes
Memory quotes
Family quotes
Mothers quotes
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When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.
George Carlin
5 Likes
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
George Carlin
2 Likes
Belief quotes
I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.
George Carlin
16 Likes
Funny quotes
Change quotes
Baseball is the only major sport that appears backward in a mirror
George Carlin
3 Likes
Baseball quotes
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Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain.
George Carlin
61 Likes
Smile quotes
I am is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that I do is the longest sentence?
George Carlin
13 Likes
Were having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, were having a swan. You get more stuffing.
George Carlin
4 Likes
Funny quotes
Thanksgiving quotes
We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing.
George Carlin
2 Likes
Funny quotes
Thanksgiving quotes
Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.
George Carlin
22 Likes
Music quotes
Dancing quotes
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If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else.
George Carlin
10 Likes
Politics quotes
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
George Carlin
8 Likes
I did stand-up. I loved George Carlin and Steve Martin.
Steve Buscemi
4 Likes
There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
George Carlin
24 Likes
Moon quotes
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
George Carlin
145 Likes
Funny quotes
Weather quotes
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
George Carlin
10 Likes
Truth quotes
When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.
George Carlin
8 Likes
Life quotes
I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it
George Carlin
44 Likes
Suicide quotes
Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.
George Carlin
1 Likes
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
George Carlin
20 Likes
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