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Henny Youngman Marriage Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Henny Youngman Marriage" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.
Henny Youngman
4 Likes
Funny quotes
Scouting quotes
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She's a big-hearted girl with hips to match.
Henny Youngman
19 Likes
The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
Henny Youngman
0 Likes
This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
Henny Youngman
1 Likes
My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it's feet first!
Henny Youngman
1 Likes
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My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
Henny Youngman
1 Likes
I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.
Henny Youngman
1 Likes
Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
Henny Youngman
21 Likes
There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
Henny Youngman
0 Likes
If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope.
Henny Youngman
2 Likes
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My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City?
Henny Youngman
0 Likes
How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put 'page 2.'
Henny Youngman
13 Likes
While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
Henny Youngman
1 Likes
My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself.
Henny Youngman
1 Likes
Someone stole all my credit cards, but I wont be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.
Henny Youngman
35 Likes
Gold Digger quotes
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My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself.
Henny Youngman
12 Likes
Military Family quotes
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.
Henny Youngman
38 Likes
Funny quotes
Morning quotes
This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated!
Henny Youngman
0 Likes
Why don't Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering.
Henny Youngman
0 Likes
Drink quotes
This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
Henny Youngman
1 Likes
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