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Jack Handey Revenge Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Jack Handey Revenge" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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If your friend is already dead, and being eaten by vultures, I think it's okay to feed some bits of your friend to one of the vultures, to teach him to do some tricks. But ONLY if you're serious about adopting the vulture. - Deep Thoughts (Saturday Night Live)
Jack Handey
21 Likes
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It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
Jack Handey
18 Likes
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It is useless to meet revenge with revenge; it will heal nothing.
JRR Tolkien
10 Likes
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A funny thing is if you're out hiking and your friend gets bit by a poisonous snake, tell him you're going for help, then go about ten feet and pretend YOU got bit by a snake. Then start an argument about who's going to get help. A lot of guys will start crying. That's why it makes you feel good when you tell them it was just a joke.
Jack Handey
10 Likes
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If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."
Jack Handey
23 Likes
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Life is about revenge, and the best revenge in life is keep living and being successful. Making the people who hurt you pay for what they have done is only an optional.
Unknown
15 Likes
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A man that studieth revenge keeps his own wounds green, which otherwise would heal and do well
Francis Bacon Sr
1 Likes
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The best way to carry out your revenge on those who hate you is to forgive them. Nothing hurts them more.
Unknown
38 Likes
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Before you embark on a journey of revenge, Dig two graves.
Unknown
40 Likes
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Before you enbark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.
Hussein Nishah
41 Likes
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Revenge is the sweetest dish that's serve in a cold way.
Unknown
72 Likes
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He that studieth revenge keepeth his own wounds green, which otherwise would heal and do well.
John Milton
6 Likes
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A man that studieth revenge keeps his own wounds green.
Francis Bacon Sr
3 Likes
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The best revenge is to show them that your life is getting better after they're gone.
Nishan Panwar
195 Likes
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Revenge has no more quenching effect on emotions than salt water has on thirst.
Walter Weckler
7 Likes
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The best revenge is to look good. Always dress like you're going to see your worst enemy.
Unknown
46 Likes
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This is certain, that a man that studieth revenge keeps his wounds green, which otherwise would heal and do well.
Unknown
19 Likes
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When you begin a journey of revenge, start by digging two graves: one for your enemy, and one for yourself.
Jodi Picoult
61 Likes
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Never go to bed angry, stay awake and plot revenge.
Unknown
140 Likes
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The best revenge is happiness, because nothing drives people more crazy then seeing someone actually living a good life.
Unknown
451 Likes
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