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Mitch Alapan Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Mitch Alapan" sorted by relevance. 252 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
If you're always battling against getting older, you're always going to be unhappy, because it's going to happen anyhow.
Mitch Albom
10 Likes
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I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.
Mitch Hedberg
5 Likes
A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.
Mitch Hedberg
8 Likes
It's time Congress got its priorities straight.
Mitch McConnell
0 Likes
All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.
Mitch Hedberg
3 Likes
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I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down.
Mitch Hedberg
2 Likes
Dogs are forever in the push up postion.
Mitch Hedberg
2 Likes
If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up.
Mitch Hedberg
6 Likes
No, my family is Russian, Georgian, via Ellis Island.
Mitch Kapor
3 Likes
A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
Mitch Hedberg
1 Likes
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Bologna is a deli meat for people with eyes.
Mitch Hedberg
1 Likes
I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.
Mitch Hedberg
5 Likes
Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.
Mitch Hedberg
1 Likes
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
Mitch Hedberg
13 Likes
Girlfriends quotes
I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.
Mitch Hedberg
1 Likes
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If I had nine of my fingers missing I wouldn't type any slower.
Mitch Hedberg
1 Likes
Bolton's exactly what the U.N. needs at this point. The president's right on the mark in picking him.
Mitch McConnell
1 Likes
If the administration wants cooperation, it will have to begin to move in our direction.
Mitch McConnell
1 Likes
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
Mitch Hedberg
20 Likes
Women quotes
It took us in this country 11 years to get from the Declaration of Independence to the Constitution.
Mitch McConnell
0 Likes
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