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One Direction Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "One Direction Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that!
Milton Jones
245 Likes
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I stepped on a cornflake this morning...I'm a cereal killer now!
Unknown
294 Likes
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My mom was a little weird. When I was little she would make chocolate frosting. And she'd let me lick the beaters. And then she'd turn them off.
Marty Cohen
25 Likes
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I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke up this morning and the pillow was gone.
Tommy Cooper
72 Likes
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My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
Ellen DeGeneres
84 Likes
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So many people have no sense of humor, whatsoever! Everyone knows that it is my job to tell the jokes, that's what I do...so if you have thin skin, then I guess we won't be hanging out.
Kathy Griffin
1 Likes
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
Steven Wright
47 Likes
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So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books.'
Tommy Cooper
17 Likes
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Wit is a weapon. Jokes are a masculine way of inflicting superiority. But humor is the pursuit of a gentle grin, usually in solitude.
Frank Muir
0 Likes
Wanna play a joke on your chiropractor? The next time he starts working on you, go limp and soil yourself.
Mike Wilmot
89 Likes
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One of the jokes on our flight is that, if we have a normal entry day going, the plan is for me... to actually take the orbiter first and fly it for maybe 10 or 15 seconds and then hand it on over to Scooter.
Duane G Carey
9 Likes
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.
Tommy Cooper
44 Likes
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This is our lance. See, you're making me laugh about this now, because there have been a few jokes on the set about what they actually look like. But, see, I personally think they'd be a great toy. So... just batteries aren't included.
Kevin Sorbo
4 Likes
Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office...I will find you. You have my Word.
Unknown
110 Likes
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The great thing in the world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving.
Oliver Wendell Holmes
0 Likes
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I don't need the perfect one, I need the one who will make me feel like I'm the only one. -Zayn Mailk
One Direction
393 Likes
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We dont mind having haters. As long as we have our girls, we are strong. -Zayn Malik
One Direction
142 Likes
Since youre walkin in my direction I guess Ill walk the opposite way.
Unknown
47 Likes
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After a while, the characters I'm writing begin to feel real to me. That's when I know I'm heading in the right direction.
Alice Hoffman
2 Likes
The laws were not made so much for the direction of good men, as to circumscribe the bad.
Samuel Richardson
0 Likes
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