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Sarcastic Humour Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Sarcastic Humour" sorted by relevance. 457 matching entries found.
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Sorry, honey. Sarcasm falls from my mouth as easily as stupidity falls from yours...
Unknown
151 Likes
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Oh, it's sunny outside. I better update my Facebook status for all of my friends that don't have windows.
Unknown
3329 Likes
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I know its not Christmas, but Santa's lap is always ready.
Unknown
143 Likes
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I wanted to send you something AMAZING for Christmas but the mailman told me to get out of the mailbox...
Unknown
146 Likes
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When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for Christmas!
Hussein Nishah
270 Likes
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Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.
Unknown
71 Likes
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When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". F*ck off. What good is a goddamn cake you can't eat? What should I eat, someone else's cake instead?
George Carlin
42 Likes
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SARCASM the body's natural defense against stupidity.
Unknown
416 Likes
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Dear Santa, ( ) I've been good all year. ( ) Ok most of the time. ( ) Once in a while. (X) fu.. it. I'll buy my own shit.
Unknown
917 Likes
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I can see that you're upset...Maybe you should post about it all over Facebook. That should eliminate any drama.
Unknown
50 Likes
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Christmas is a time when you get homesick...even when you're home.
Carol Nelson
103 Likes
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This is it, folks. This is the idea which has kept me virtually unknown for the past 16 years. I have watched my crowds dwindle. I am going nowhere, and nowhere quick, but, those of you who have children, I am sorry to tell you this, but they are not special. Wait! I know some of you are going "what, what?" Let me just clarify: I know YOU think they're special ... ha ha ha! I'm aware of that. I'm just here to tell you, that they're NOT! Ha ha ha ha! Sorry. Did you know that every time a guy comes he comes two-hundred million sperm? One out of TWO-HUNDRED MILLION that load, we're only talking about one load connected: gee, what are the fu..ing odds? Do you know what that means? I've wiped nations off've my chest with a grey gymsock. ENTIRE CIVILISATIONS HAVE FLAKED AND CRUSTED IN THE HAIR AROUND MY NAVEL! [...] I've tossed universes in my underpants while napping. Boom! A Milkyway shoots into my jockeyshorts: "Unngh ... what's for fu..ing breakfast?!"
Bill Hicks
14 Likes
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This year, I'm going to buy all of my Christmas gifts from Nike...Made for kids by kids.
Unknown
51 Likes
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Dear Santa, Please send your credit card numbers. its only fair since youre getting the credit for the gifts, that you should start paying for them also...
Unknown
59 Likes
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Are you thinking what I'm thinking that I think that you're thinking I'm thinking because if you think that I think what I think I'm thinking then we've got a problem?
Unknown
36 Likes
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You hate your life? Go post on Facebook about it, that'll help.
Unknown
282 Likes
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On the 12th Day of Christmas my Facebook gave to me, 12 dudes I'm blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, Fiiiiiiiiiiiiive Drama Queeeensssss, 4 game requests, 3 photo tags, 2 friends-a-pokin & a creep who won't stop inboxing meeee!
Unknown
1205 Likes
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