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Status To Put On Facebook Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Status To Put On Facebook" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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That dirty look you give the sidewalk when you turn around after you trip over it.
Unknown
107 Likes
Facebook Status quotes
Shit Happens quotes
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New condom slogan: Wrap it in latex or she's going to get your paychecks.
Unknown
381 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Randomly staring at your phone to avoid an awkward situation.
Unknown
88 Likes
Facebook Status quotes
So the Titanic is coming out again but in 3D...I wonder if they will see the iceburg this time...
Unknown
178 Likes
Witty Facebook Status quotes
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Dear hoodies, thank you for always being there for me. Sincerely, I'm s..y and I know it, I'm just way too tired to show it.
Unknown
85 Likes
Facebook Status quotes
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Things that probably shouldn't be broken: 1. Hearts 2. Promises 3. Condoms
Unknown
83 Likes
Facebook Status quotes
One of the hardest things to do is trying to plug in your charger in when it's completely dark.
Unknown
97 Likes
Facebook Status quotes
Waking up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and avoiding all of the mirrors.
Unknown
128 Likes
It Is What It Is quotes
Facebook Status quotes
I'm not sure how people get eaten by sharks...I mean how do you not hear the music?
Unknown
625 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Something is wrong with our government when I see people using food stamps and an iPhone.
Unknown
148 Likes
Facebook Status quotes
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There's a fine line between tan and looking liked you rolled around in Doritos.
Unknown
467 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
The awkward moment when the ticket vendor says, 'Enjoy your movie.' and then you say, 'You too!'
Unknown
72 Likes
Facebook Status quotes
That awkward moment when theres a guy working at Victorias Secret.
Unknown
96 Likes
Facebook Status quotes
That one bug that no matter how times you hit, just won't die.
Unknown
46 Likes
Facebook Status quotes
The only reason I'd ever move to L.A. is to get away from conversations about the weather changing.
Unknown
31 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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I've always wanted to get into a cab and yell, 'Follow that car!!!'
Unknown
662 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
I wonder if a receptionist at a sperm bank has ever used the phrase: 'Thanks for coming.'
Unknown
710 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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Sometimes I get my wife and my GPS mixed up...they both tell me what to do every 30 feet.
Unknown
310 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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Girls are like Jedi's, they can lift things without even touching them...if you know what I mean.
Unknown
341 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Girlfriend: Baby, I'm Pregnant. What Do You Want It To Be? . . . . . . Boyfriend: A Joke.
Shadawcatt
373 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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