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Turning 40 Joke Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Turning 40 Joke" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
If this validates anything, it's that learning how to bunt and hit and run and turning two is more important than knowing where to find the little red light at the dug out camera.
Ryne Sandberg
1 Likes
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All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
Issac Asimov
10 Likes
Funny quotes
Computers quotes
Turning back the pages of my sweet shattered dream, I wonder if she'll ever do the same; And the thing that I call living is just being satisfied With knowing I've got no one left to blame.
Gordon Lightfoot
28 Likes
Any woman who chooses to behave like a full human being should be warned that the armies of the status quo will treat her as something of a dir.. joke. That's their natural and first weapon. She will need her sisterhood.
Gloria Steinem
9 Likes
Don�t show u teeth plastic smile can�t work, take u face from the ground girl, stop wearing fraud i�m not a clown that laugh an joke.
Black Uhuru
4 Likes
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A joke is not a thing but a process, a trick you play on the listener's mind. You start him off toward a plausible goal, and then by a sudden twist you land him nowhere at all or just where he didn't expect to go.
Max Eastman
1 Likes
Being mature is when you finally grow enough, to be able to joke about the things that once broke you as a person.
Unknown
93 Likes
Laughter quotes
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Over the past 50 years Bob Hope employed 88 joke writers who supplied him with more than one million gags, and he still couldn't make me laugh.
Eddie Murphy
28 Likes
Funny quotes
Laughter quotes
Every time I'm on the red carpet and they ask,'Who's the mother going to be? I always say Hillary Clinton as a joke. I got a letter in the mail that said, 'I appreciate your request, but I must say I'm very busy doing politics. But if the opportunity ever arises, I would be happy to do something together.
Jason Segel
3 Likes
You can't do anything to be funny. That's cringeworthy. If your humor comes out of a place of love every time, you don't make the joke bigger than you. The funniest comedians are in touch with their emotional level.
John Krasinski
1 Likes
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My life is a joke.... I'm only here for your amusement.... You'll never see the pain I feel or the tears I cry.... But anyways.... Welcome to the show....
Storm Shadowheart
12 Likes
Depression quotes
Life quotes
You keep opening ya grill, Im barbecuing with it. I know my shit already tight so I aint screwing with it. Some say this shit is a joke well I hope they get it.
Lil Wayne
29 Likes
If you'd have s.. with me tonight I'd be perfectly fine with you telling everyone it was just an April Fool's joke.
Unknown
52 Likes
April Fools Day quotes
Sorry no one understood you were making an April Fool's joke because no one thinks you have a sense of humor.
Unknown
86 Likes
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Sorry I mistook your announcement of a ghastly personal tragedy for an April Fool's joke.
Unknown
15 Likes
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Forgetting your birthday was an April Fool's joke unless I remembered it in which case please disregard this.
Unknown
11 Likes
April Fools Day quotes
I think that the joke and the ghost story both have a similar set up in that you kind of set something up and pay it off with a laugh or a scare.
Simon Pegg
0 Likes
Have you ever heard a good joke? If you've ever heard someone just right, with the right pacing, then you're already on the way to poetry. It's about using words in very precise ways and using gesture.
Rita Dove
1 Likes
I never smile when I have a bat in my hands. That's when you've got to be serious. When I get out on the field, nothing's a joke to me. I don't feel like I should walk around with a smile on my face.
Hank Aaron
11 Likes
A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor, for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself.
Jessamyn West
0 Likes
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