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Funny Quotes About Marriage
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58 Funny quotes tagged with Marriage.
QUOTES
Marriage is an institution in which a Man loses his Bachelors degree, and the Woman gets her Masters.
Nikhil Saluja
347 Likes
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Disney movies also taught me that my main goal in life, is to find a fu..ing prince and marry him.
Jenna Marbles
95 Likes
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Marriage is like a public toilet. Those waiting outside are desperate to get in & those inside are desperate to come out...
Unknown
79 Likes
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Even though I've been married for eight years, I do separate my food in the refrigerator from my wife's. I put labels on it that say 'This is Will's leftover chicken' or whatever. And if you touch it, yeah, I get livid.
Will Ferrell
26 Likes
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Before you marry someone, ask yourself, 'Will they be a good killing partner during the zombie apocalypse?'
Unknown
88 Likes
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Prostitutes are way better than marriage. Why buy a whole cow, when you only want a glass of milk?
Unknown
70 Likes
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W.I.F.E = Washing, Ironing, F*cking, Etc.
Unknown
61 Likes
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'I Love My Wife' bumper stickers are strictly for men who were caught cheating.
Unknown
114 Likes
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My friends are getting married. I'm getting drunk. I think we know who the real winner is.
Unknown
108 Likes
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It's scary that 50% of all marriages end in divorce...it's even scarier that the other 50% last forever.
Unknown
65 Likes
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Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
Rita Rudner
6 Likes
Marriage quotes
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Always remember this: 'A kiss will never miss, and after many kisses a miss becomes a misses'.
John Lennon
68 Likes
Kissing quotes
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Always remember this: 'A kiss will never miss, and after many kisses a miss becomes a misses'.
John Lennon
78 Likes
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The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
E Joseph Cossman
680 Likes
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For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked.
Bill Cosby
11 Likes
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Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.
Ogden Nash
136 Likes
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Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
Anonymous
104 Likes
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Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
Jim Backus
16 Likes
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I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again.
Noel Coward
10 Likes
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Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invaribly they are both disappointed.
Albert Einstein
35 Likes
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