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Bill Hicks On Old Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Bill Hicks On Old" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Bill Watterson(American Author Of The Comic Strip Calvin & Hobbes
B1958) Similar
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QUOTES
I didn't know that people compared Bill Hicks and I but certainly I'm flattered if they do. I knew Bill a bit. We had dinner a couple of times and played guitar together once. I really tried to keep my distance from him professionally.
Marc Maron
1 Likes
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So I'm over there in England, you know, trying to get news about the riots... and all these Brit people are trying to sympathize with me... 'Oh Bill, crime is horrible. Bill, if it's any consolation crime is horrible here, too.' ...Shutup. This is Hobbitown and I am Bilbo Hicks, Okay? This is a land of fairies and elves. You do not have crime like we have crime, but I appreciate you trying to be, you know, Diplomatic. You gotta see English crime. It's hilarious, you don't know if you're reading the front page or the comic section over there. I swear to God. I read an article front page of the paper one day, in England, 'Yesterday, some Hooligans knocked over a dustbin in Shafsbry.' ...Wooooo. 'The hooligans are loose! The hooligans are loose! ...What if they become roughians? I would hate to be a dustbin in Shafsbry tonight. (to the tune of "Behind Blue Eyes" by The Who) No one knows what it's like... to be a dustbin... in Shafsbry... with hooligans...' What the HELL are you talkin' ab
Bill Hicks
19 Likes
Humor quotes
Comedy quotes
So I'm over there in England, you know, trying to get news about the riots... and all these Brit people are trying to sympathize with me... 'Oh Bill, crime is horrible. Bill, if it's any consolation crime is horrible here, too.' ...Shutup. This is Hobbitown and I am Bilbo Hicks, Okay? This is a land of fairies and elves. You do not have crime like we have crime, but I appreciate you trying to be, you know, Diplomatic. You gotta see English crime. It's hilarious, you don't know if you're reading the front page or the comic section over there. I swear to God. I read an article front page of the paper one day, in England, 'Yesterday, some Hooligans knocked over a dustbin in Shafsbry.' ...Wooooo. 'The hooligans are loose! The hooligans are loose! ...What if they become roughians? I would hate to be a dustbin in Shafsbry tonight. (to the tune of "Behind Blue Eyes" by The Who) No one knows what it's like... to be a dustbin... in Shafsbry... with hooligans...' What the HELL are you talkin' ab
Bill Hicks
18 Likes
Humor quotes
Comedy quotes
Nazis are for the New Age concern
Bill Hicks
3 Likes
Comedy quotes
I'm not really a heavy smoker any more. I only get through two lighters a day now.
Bill Hicks
18 Likes
Smoking quotes
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Does anyone here work in advertising or marketing? Well if you do, when you get home take a gun shoot yourself. No bullshit, I'm not joking just do it. I'm just sowing seeds, one day they may take root.
Bill Hicks
7 Likes
Comedy quotes
Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.
Bill Hicks
11 Likes
Television quotes
Nazis are for the New Age concern.
Bill Hicks
2 Likes
Funny quotes
Age quotes
We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free.
Bill Hicks
11 Likes
Death quotes
One of my big fears in life is that I'm gonna die and my parents are going to come to clean out my apartment and find that po..o wing I've been adding on to for years.
Bill Hicks
83 Likes
Parents quotes
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I'll show you politics in America. Here it is, right here. 'I think the puppet on the right shares my beliefs.' 'I think the puppet on the left is more to my liking.' 'Hey, wait a minute, there's one guy holding out both puppets!'
Bill Hicks
6 Likes
Comedy quotes
You know all that money we spend on the military ever year -- trillions of dollars? Instead, if we use this money to feed and clothe the poor of this world, which it would do many times over, then we can explore space, inner and outer, together, as one race.
Bill Hicks
7 Likes
Money quotes
They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do, just as well. You just realize that it's not worth the fu..ing effort. There is a difference.
Bill Hicks
88 Likes
Pothead quotes
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I'll show you politics in America. Here it is, right here. 'I think the puppet on the right shares my beliefs.' 'I think the puppet on the left is more to my liking.' 'Hey, wait a minute, there's one guy holding out both puppets!'
Bill Hicks
14 Likes
Politics quotes
I love talking about the Kennedy assasination. The reason I do is because I'm fascinated by it. I'm fascinated that our government could lie to us so blatantly, so obviously for so long, and we do absolutely nothing about it. I think that's interesting in what is ostensibly a democracy. Sarcasm - come on in. People say Bill, quit talking about Kennedy man. It was a long time ago, just let it go, alright? It's a long time ago, just forget it. I'm like, alright, then don't bring up Jesus to me. As long as we're talking shelf life here...
Bill Hicks
66 Likes
Government quotes
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You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really unevolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. "I believe God created me in one day" Yeah, looks like He rushed it.
Bill Hicks
19 Likes
Funny quotes
Evolution quotes
Creationism quotes
See we just had a misunderstanding. I thought we lived in the U.S. of A., the United States of America. But actually we live in the U.S. of A., the United States of Advertising. Freedom of expression is guaranteed? If you've got the money!
Bill Hicks
18 Likes
Money quotes
You know we armed Iraq. I wondered about that too, you know during the Persian Gulf war those intelligence reports would come out: "Iraq: incredible weapons - incredible weapons." How do you know that? "Uh, well...we looked at the receipts."
Bill Hicks
6 Likes
Comedy quotes
You know we armed Iraq. I wondered about that too, you know during the Persian Gulf war those intelligence reports would come out: Iraq: incredible weapons - incredible weapons. How do you know that? Uh, well...we looked at the receipts.
Bill Hicks
21 Likes
Intelligence quotes
To make marijuana against the law is like saying God made a mistake.
Bill Hicks
527 Likes
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