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Funny God Jokesy God Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny God Jokesy God Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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When I was young, I said to God, 'God, tell me the mystery of the universe.' But God answered, 'That knowledge is for me alone.' So I said, 'God, tell me the mystery of the peanut.' Then God said, 'Well George, that's more nearly your size.' And he told me.
George Washington Carver
60 Likes
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When I was young, I said to God, 'God, tell me the mystery of the universe.' But God answered, 'That knowledge is for me alone.' So I said, 'God, tell me the mystery of the peanut.' Then God said, 'Well George, that's more nearly your size.' And he told me.
George Washington Carver
123 Likes
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Not the goods of the world, but God. Not riches, but God. Not honors, but God. Not distinction, but God. Not dignities, but God. Not advancement, but God. God always and in everything.
St Vincent Pallotti
36 Likes
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Look back and Thank God. Look forward and Trust God. Look around and Serve God. Look within and Find God.
Unknown
385 Likes
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Yeah, I know I'm ugly...I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'
Rodney Dangerfield
28 Likes
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I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it.
Voltaire
118 Likes
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God gives us only what we can handle.. Apparently God thinks I am a bad-ass.
Unknown
133 Likes
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When you pray, God listens, when you ask, God gives. But we should only pray for the things we truly need, however some people forget to thank God for what they have received, always remember God gives but he can also take away.
Rashida Rowe
72 Likes
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Let God work through you and there will be no more duty. Let God shine forth. Let God show Himself. Live God, Eat God. Drink God. Breathe God. Realize the Truth and the other things will take care of themselves.
Sri Sathya Sai Baba
13 Likes
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You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.
Anne Lamott
25 Likes
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You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.
Anne Lamott
17 Likes
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When you need, God knows. When you ask, God listens. When you believe, God works. When you thank, God gives more.
Ritu Ghatourey
37 Likes
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God don't make no mistakes. That's how He got to be God.
Archie Bunker
9 Likes
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Try to give your agenda to God. Keep saying, 'Your will be done, not mine.' Give every part of your heart and your time to God and let God tell you what to do, where to go, when and how to respond. God does not want you to destroy yourself. Exhaustion, burnout, and depression are not signs that you are doing God's will. God is gentle and loving. God desires to give you a deep sense of safety in God's love. Once you have allowed yourself to experience that love fully, you will be better able to discern who you are being sent to in God's name.
Henri J M Nouwen
14 Likes
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Suppose the world were only one of God's jokes, would you work any the less to make it a good joke instead of a bad one?
George Bernard Shaw
354 Likes
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In God's eyes, Love is never absent, In God's Heart, Forgiveness is never impossible, In God's mind, you are never forgotten, God is always with you and may He continue to be with you. Happy Sunday
Onuh Justus Izuchukwu
33 Likes
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When you need, God knows. When you ask, God listens. When you believe, God works. When you thank, God gives more.
Unknown
47 Likes
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God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
Garrison Keillor
1907 Likes
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God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
Voltaire
20 Likes
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Aaahh, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, aaaaahh.
Rachel Green
0 Likes
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