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Funny Sarcastic Facebook Status Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Sarcastic Facebook Status" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Spent the entire night trying to create a website for women drivers, but it kept crashing.
Unknown
696 Likes
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It's a recipe for disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny jean fad.
Unknown
842 Likes
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Dear Santa, ( ) I've been good all year. ( ) Ok most of the time. ( ) Once in a while. (X) fu.. it. I'll buy my own shit.
Unknown
917 Likes
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My 'check engine' light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and the engine is still there.
Unknown
546 Likes
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Are you free tomorrow? No, Im fu..ing expensive.
Unknown
2521 Likes
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Facebook's timeline is my favorite way to watch girls from high school get fat.
Unknown
723 Likes
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I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be Nobody so when I see stupid crap people post, I can Like it. And it will say Nobody Likes This.
Unknown
14673 Likes
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Being popular on Facebook is like sitting at the cool table in the cafeteria at a mental hospital.
Unknown
1468 Likes
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Everybody knows somebody who's Facebook relationship status should be 'Still banging my ex.'
Unknown
597 Likes
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When I was a kid, I used to sing, 'A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, ELEMENO, P'
Unknown
2231 Likes
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Going to McDonald's for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.
Unknown
1203 Likes
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Facebook is like a relationship: Faithful on your wall, but cheating in their inbox...
Unknown
1239 Likes
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The first status on Facebook in 2013: 'Is anyone alive?'
Unknown
616 Likes
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The government could fix everything that's wrong with the country if they'd simply read my Facebook updates.
Unknown
62 Likes
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Deleting your Facebook is like running away from home. You're only doing it for attention and you'll be back in a day.
Unknown
1281 Likes
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Facebook is that insecure chick that keeps changing her hairstyle &/or color until she finally loses her mind and shaves it & scares everyone.
Unknown
520 Likes
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Myspace is my ex husband, Facebook is my baby daddy, Twitter is my ho and I'm in a serious relationship with Instagram.
Ambri Bright
402 Likes
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I'm ready to take our relationship to the level of appearing together in a Facebook profile picture.
Unknown
302 Likes
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That awkward moment when you post a funny status on Facebook and someone has to ruin it by commenting being all serious.
Unknown
549 Likes
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I wish facebook would notify me when people delete me, that way I can Like it.
Unknown
390 Likes
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