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Funny Sperm Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Sperm" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
I sit down with my daughter and I said, 'Do you know how babies get here?' And she said, 'Well, the lady has an egg inside of her, and the man has sperm inside of him, and the sperm meets the egg, and that's how the lady gets pregnant.' And I said, 'Do you know how the sperm meets the egg?' She said, 'Does the man pee on the woman?' I said, 'Sometimes, but that's $35 extra.'
Robert Schimmel
4 Likes
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I wonder if a receptionist at a sperm bank has ever used the phrase: 'Thanks for coming.'
Unknown
710 Likes
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Whenever you're feeling down, remember; you're the sperm that won.
Unknown
373 Likes
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Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: 'Local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it. How may I help you?'
Unknown
378 Likes
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The egg of every species of animal or plant carries a definite number of bodies called chromosomes. The sperm carries the same number. Consequently, when the sperm unites with the egg, the fertilized egg will contain the double number of chromosomes.
Thomas Hunt Morgan
0 Likes
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I wish I could go back to being a sperm cell, those were the days.
Unknown
6 Likes
Your sperm's in the gutter, your love's in the sink.
Jethro Tull
3 Likes
Sperm is a bandit in its pure state.
Emile M Cioran
1 Likes
Politicians are like sperm. One in a million turn out to be an actual human being.
Unknown
8 Likes
When sperm and egg unite, something goes from inanimate to animate. It is life.
Mitt Romney
2 Likes
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It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. It's funny how good memories can make you cry, it's funny how forever never seems to last, it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past, it's funny how friends can just leave when you're down, it's funny how when you need someone they never are around, it's funny how people change and think they're so much better, it's funny how some many lies are packed into one love letter, it's funny how one night can hold so much regret, it's funny how you can forgive but not forget, it's funny how ironic life turns out to be, but the funniest part of all, is that none of that is funny to me.
Unknown
565 Likes
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Football is a fertility festival. Eleven sperm trying to get into the egg. I feel sorry for the goalkeeper.
Bjork
6 Likes
Taking final exams? Good luck. I believe in you. But I also believe that snakes are sperm on the egg that is Earth, so my beliefs are iffy.
Unknown
30 Likes
Everybody Google it, because that's why the water is salty. fu..ing whale sperm.
Snooki
134 Likes
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People forget we come from an embryo and we're part sperm and part ovary. We have both sides in us.
Michelle Rodriguez
1 Likes
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Just because you donate sperm does not make you a father. I don't have a father. I would never give him the credit or acknowledge him as my father.
Sarah Michelle Gellar
6 Likes
Just because you donate sperm does not make you a father. I don't have a father. I would never give him the credit or acknowledge him as my father.
Sarah Michelle Gellar
6 Likes
For each chromosome contributed by the sperm there is a corresponding chromosome contributed by the egg, there are two chromosomes of each kind, which together constitute a pair.
Thomas Hunt Morgan
3 Likes
The only jobs for which no man is qualified are human incubators and wet nurse. Likewise, the only job for which no woman is or can be qualified is sperm donor.
Wilma Scott Heide
10 Likes
Jobs quotes
I am not homophobic. In fact, I have two dads. See, I was born out of love. My two dads screened potential surrogates based on beauty and IQ. Then they mixed their sperm together and used a turkey baster. To this day we dont know which one is my real dad which I think is pretty amazing.
Rachel Berry
9 Likes
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