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Pretend Funny Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Pretend Funny" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
We pretend to work because they pretend to pay us.
Unknown
63 Likes
Funny Unemployment quotes
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If you pretend to be good, the world takes you very seriously. If you pretend to be bad, it doesn't. Such is the astounding stupidity of optimism.
Oscar Wilde
18 Likes
Funny quotes
Sarcastic quotes
Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be. Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be.
Kurt Vonnegut
6 Likes
If you need to talk, I will pretend to listen.
Unknown
7 Likes
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Enjoy no longer having to pretend to like your in-laws.
Unknown
12 Likes
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Let's pretend we're having as much holiday fun as Christians...
Unknown
12 Likes
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Your mind can't always tell the difference between pretend and reality if you pretend too long; or if you go too deep and really believe in what you're doing.
Annabella Sciorra
0 Likes
May your boss not attend the synagogue you pretend to be going to during the Jewish holidays.
Unknown
5 Likes
Funny quotes
Rosh Hashanah quotes
My parents are very funny when they have to deal with anything racy or off-color. They usually pretend they don't speak English.
Margaret Cho
10 Likes
To pretend, I actually do the thing: I have therefore only pretended to pretend.
Jacques Derrida
0 Likes
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Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be.
Kurt Vonnegut Jr
2 Likes
Behavior quotes
Let's pretend there's nothing alarming about a tween fantasy movie causing cougars to fantasize about statutory .....
Unknown
8 Likes
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We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.
Kurt Vonnegut
7 Likes
It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. It's funny how good memories can make you cry, it's funny how forever never seems to last, it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past, it's funny how friends can just leave when you're down, it's funny how when you need someone they never are around, it's funny how people change and think they're so much better, it's funny how some many lies are packed into one love letter, it's funny how one night can hold so much regret, it's funny how you can forgive but not forget, it's funny how ironic life turns out to be, but the funniest part of all, is that none of that is funny to me.
Unknown
565 Likes
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A job interview is like a first date. You dress up, pretend to be someone else and spend the time wondering if youre going to get screwed.
Azgraybebly Joslan
85 Likes
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Never be afraid to stand up for what you believe in. If people get angry, you can always pretend you were just standing up to stretch.
John Alejandro King
109 Likes
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My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
Mitch Hedberg
71 Likes
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It doesn't need to be Boss's Day for me to pretend I respect you.
Unknown
2 Likes
Funny quotes
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And to stick our head in the sand and pretend that we are somehow safer if we do not know or to pretend we are somehow safer if we limit our options seems to me not only foolish but actually dangerous.
Mac Thornberry
1 Likes
If you pretend to be good, the world takes you very seriously. If you pretend to be bad, it doesn't. Such is the astounding stupidity of optimism.
Oscar Wilde
3 Likes
Goodness quotes
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