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Witty Life Random Funny Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Witty Life Random Funny" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Of course, it's very easy to be witty tomorrow, after you get a chance to do some research and rehearse your ad libs.
Joey Adams
25 Likes
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If it tastes funny, don't eat it. If it looks funny, call a doctor. If it is funny, it must have been something I said.
Unknown
189 Likes
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Any one who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin. For, as has been pointed out several times, there is no such thing as a random number, there are only methods to produce random numbers, and a strict arithmetic procedure of course is not such a method.
John Von Neumann
3 Likes
My life is all math. I am trying to add to my income, subtract from my weight, divide my time, and avoid multiplying.
Unknown
163 Likes
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If life gives you lemons don't make a fu..ing lemonade take the shitty lemons and throw them at the assole who's making your life hard.
Peta-Gaye Clark
80 Likes
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A witty woman is a treasure; a witty beauty is a power.
George Meredith
18 Likes
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A witty woman is a treasure; a witty beauty is a power.
George Meredith
2 Likes
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A witty woman is a treasure; a witty beauty is a power.
George Meredith
9 Likes
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Most of the time when people laugh at me...I'm not trying to be funny.
Donny Norris
71 Likes
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The hardest part of a business, is minding your own.
Unknown
635 Likes
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I wanna spend one whole day doing random acts of kindness for random people and asking for nothing in return.
Unknown
12 Likes
Random acts of kindness are not random. They are actions of people holding themselves to a higher standard.
Unknown
5 Likes
Before s.... you help each other get naked, after s.. you only dress yourself. Moral of the story: in life no one helps you once you're fu..ed.
Unknown
2197 Likes
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Two things I love about our new home: random hot air balloons and lots of live music in the most random places!
Unknown
5 Likes
O! many a shaft, at random sent, Finds mark the archer little meant! And many a word, at random spoken, May soothe or wound a heart that's broken!
Walter Scott
0 Likes
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Never play leap frog with a unicorn ...
Unknown
44 Likes
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I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W C Fields
37 Likes
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My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
Unknown
5 Likes
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When people ask me plz because it's shorter than please. I tell them no because it's shorter than yes .
Unknown
357 Likes
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No, sir, I'm not saying that charming, witty and warm copy won't sell. I'm just saying I've seen thousands of charming, witty campaigns that didn't sell.
Rosser Reeves
4 Likes
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