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Robert Benchley Quotes & Sayings
54 entries tagged including 21 subtopics.
Last updated Dec 2023
Robert Benchley Topics
The child had his mother's eyes, his mother's nose, and his mother's mouth. Which leaves his mother with a pretty blank expression.
Mothers Day quotes
Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did.
Getting Old quotes
There are two kinds of people in this world - those who divide everything into two and those who don't
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people
For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting.
Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony.
Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that a child cannot do much harm one way or another.
Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it.
Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?
We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs we can and can't take by a man at a hotel door, simply because he has a drum major's uniform on.
We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born.
There is a note in the front of the volume saying that no public reading may be given without first getting the author's permission. It ought to be made much more difficult to do than that.
The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
The freelance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.
The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon.
Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.
Other men wear white suits in summer and it doesn't seem to bother them. But my white suit seems to be a little whiter than theirs. I think also that it may have something written on the back of it, although I can't find it when I take the suit off.
Nothing makes a man feel older than to hear a band coming up the street and not to have the impulse to rush downstairs and out on to the sidewalk.
America And Americans
Funny Christmas Card
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