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Bless Result Status Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Bless Result Status" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I never get jealous when I see my ex with someone else, because my parents always taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate.
Unknown
3730 Likes
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If your girlfriend complains that you never take her anywhere expensive...take her to the gas station.
Seth Rogen
570 Likes
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If abortion is murder, then are condoms kidnapping...
Unknown
479 Likes
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Keep your issues in your tissue box, and learn how to keep them out of your status box.
Unknown
157 Likes
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I hope the NSA is concerned about how often my mother calls me.
Unknown
42 Likes
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If I had to be any Kardashian sister, I would choose Bruce Jenner.
Unknown
61 Likes
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You posted a status on your friend's Facebook when he wasn't looking? Please tell me how great of a hacker you are.
Unknown
236 Likes
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Diarrhea is hereditary. It runs in your jeans...
Unknown
265 Likes
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My ex boyfriends facebook status said 'Suicidal and standing on the edge.' ...So I poked him.
Unknown
1727 Likes
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Best of luck not getting murdered by the roommate you found on Craigslist.
Unknown
55 Likes
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You wanna cry? Try using a tissue, it works much better than your Facebook status.
Unknown
360 Likes
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Our deepest sympathies to Aaron Hernandez's fellow prison inmates on not getting someone as pretty as Tom Brady.
Unknown
47 Likes
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I decided to burn some calories so I set a fat kid on fire.
Unknown
281 Likes
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I will complain about my privacy being invaded by the government right after I update my dating profile to attract strangers on the internet.
Unknown
57 Likes
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As I was filling up my gas tank I realized I didn't want to eat this week anyways.
Unknown
296 Likes
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The Titanic is a great lesson of why just the tip can get you in a lot of trouble.
Nikhil Saluja
487 Likes
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I dont mind ketchup on my hot dog, as long as the bun is tight.
Jon Lajoie
412 Likes
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Theres a new Facebook app that will post a final status update for you after you die. Thats ridiculous. I dont need someone to change my status when I die. I need them to water my Farmville crops.
Jimmy Fallon
60 Likes
Somebody needs to start a restaurant called, 'Chick-Fil-Atheist' that's only open on Sunday.
Unknown
215 Likes
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At least my job description doesn't involve repairing the economy or being the new head football coach at Penn State.
Unknown
35 Likes
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