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Face Book Status Funny Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Face Book Status Funny" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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If I found out I only had a week to live, and could go anywhere in the world, I think I'd go to the hospital because that sounds serious.
Unknown
795 Likes
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James Gandolfini's heart attack at age 51 has inspired me to get in better shape after I finish rewatching all six seasons of The Sopranos.
Unknown
81 Likes
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If a bra is called an 'Over the shoulder bolder holder,' then would you call men's underwear 'Under the butt nut hut?'
Unknown
486 Likes
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A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book.
Ernest Hemingway
878 Likes
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I can't tell if you have a better life than me, or better photo filters.
Unknown
98 Likes
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When girls hack a friends Facebook account: 'I love you b*tch!' When boys hack a friends Facebook account: 'I LOVE D*CK IN MY MOUTH!'
Unknown
843 Likes
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In every circle of friends there's always that one person everyone secretly hates. Don't have one? Then it's probably you.
Will Ferrell
1154 Likes
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If I were asked what book is better than a cheap book, I should answer that there is one book better than a cheap book, - and that is a book honestly come by
James Russell Lowell
3 Likes
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I always write 'Wake Up' on my To-Do-List so I can at least accomplish one thing a day.
Unknown
813 Likes
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This is one of those mornings where I'll be picking the marshmallows out of the Lucky Charms and throwing the rest away.
Unknown
430 Likes
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I wonder if fat drug dealers sell diet coke.
Charlie Sheen
2230 Likes
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Here's to Kim Kardashian and Kanye West for not making anyone else be married to them.
Unknown
240 Likes
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A movie is not a book. If the source material is a book, you cannot be too respectful of the book. All you owe to the book is the spirit.
Graham Greene
0 Likes
Movies quotes
A movie is not a book. If the source material is a book, you cannot be too respectful of the book. All you owe to the book is the spirit.
Graham Greene
4 Likes
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Being popular on Facebook is like sitting at the cool table in the cafeteria at a mental hospital.
Unknown
1468 Likes
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I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be Nobody so when I see stupid crap people post, I can Like it. And it will say Nobody Likes This.
Unknown
14673 Likes
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Everybody knows somebody who's Facebook relationship status should be 'Still banging my ex.'
Unknown
597 Likes
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This Christmas I've decided to put a mistletoe in my back pocket....so all the people I dont like can kiss my ass.
Unknown
719 Likes
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For April Fools Day, I think Facebook should switch the search box and the status update box around. So people would post updates on who they stalk.
Unknown
6546 Likes
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The government could fix everything that's wrong with the country if they'd simply read my Facebook updates.
Unknown
62 Likes
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