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Funny Clever Sleep At Work Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Clever Sleep At Work" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
I write in my sleep. I don't know how, but I'll work on a song, go to sleep and it's finished when I wake up.
Hannah Montana
5 Likes
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While a rich man cannot have more than 1440 minutes a day, a clever man makes more time by using OPM or Other Peoples Minutes.
Unknown
129 Likes
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Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they are born and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.
Ray Romano
32 Likes
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Saying I don't take my meds because they make me feel funny. Is like cannibals saying they don't eat clowns because the taste funny.
Stanley Victor Paskavich
405 Likes
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So to me, Texas Hold 'em puts me to sleep. At least when you play stud, you can be funny as you deal. Somebody some day is going to come up with a Stud show that's going to work.
Joseph Bologna
6 Likes
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Dont let your ears witness what your eyes didn't see...& don't let your mouth speak what your heart doesn't feel.
Unknown
1647 Likes
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Just once, I would like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear... Monday has been canceled, go back to sleep.
Unknown
41 Likes
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I love my relationship with my bed. No commitment needed. We just sleep together every night!
Unknown
184 Likes
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Just once, I would like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear...'Monday has been canceled, go back to sleep.'
Unknown
291 Likes
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The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
Woody Allen
21 Likes
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Work eight hours and sleep eight hours and make sure they are not the same eight hours.
Unknown
30 Likes
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Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.
George Carlin
41 Likes
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Get at least eight hours of beauty sleep. Nine if you're ugly.
Betty White
91 Likes
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I like food and sleep. So if I give you my food, or text you late at night, you are special to me.
Unknown
371 Likes
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When I wake up from the few hours of sleep I do get, I'm getting him ready for the babysitter's house, I'm off to work providing for him, working for him. Then I'm coming home from work exhausted, I'm bathing him, feeding him dinner, playing with him, trying to get him to bed. It's just repetitive work constantly.
Bristol Palin
7 Likes
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My bed and I have a special relationship, we're perfect for each other. But my alarm clock just hates seeing us together.
Unknown
509 Likes
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Obama supporters are like christmas lights. They all hang out together, half of em don't work, and the ones that do work aren't very bright.
Mario Tomasello
272 Likes
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Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway.
Unknown
536 Likes
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Going to McDonald's for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.
Unknown
1203 Likes
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When I was a kid, I used to sing, 'A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, ELEMENO, P'
Unknown
2231 Likes
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