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Funny Random Story Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Random Story" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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On the 12th day of Christmas, my Facebook gave too me, 12 stupid bi...es, 11 fake people, 10 FB hackings, 9 new po.. websites, 8 wack statuses, 7 ho.. a slurping, 6 bums a posting, 5 ignorant bastards, 4 corny birds, 3 messages, 2 ugly friends, & a girl who smashed the wholeee team.
Unknown
560 Likes
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When something is truly funny, it's funny all the time.
Cloris Leachman
4 Likes
Takin' women out to eat, givin' 'em free meals? What part of the game is that? You takin' her to Red Lobster with the cheddar biscuits. The fam ain't eatin' cheddar biscuits, but this random broad is eatin' cheddar biscuits!
Riley Freeman
18 Likes
Instead of cleaning my house, I just watched an episode of Hoarders. Now I don't feel so bad.
Unknown
98 Likes
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I wouldn't have filed a lawsuit, but when other people started being hurt by this ban, I knew I had to stand up. There's nothing a person can say to justify the stuff they doing to people. They fired DJs, they keepin' people from gettin' advertising for shows if they book me. It's affecting a lot of people, so that's why I have to fight. I couldn't let this ridiculous vendetta affect any more people. I got a certain type of respect in the streets, that's why they call me Tha Truth. And I gotta speak the truth. I gotta stand up for what's right. Every great person and true soldier has a great story to tell and this is a part of my story. (On being banned from radio one)
Trae
6 Likes
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I got to thinking about fate. That crazy concept that were not really responsible for the course our lives take. That its all predestined, written in the stars. Maybe that explains why, if you live in a city, where you cant even see the stars, your love life tends to feel a little more random. And even if our every man, every kiss, every heartache, is pre-ordered from some cosmic catalogue, can we still take a wrong step and wander off our own personal milky way? I couldnt help but wonder, can you make a mistake and miss your fate?
Sex And The City
70 Likes
Vicodin, I got addicted to that little pill. The reason I don't talk about it too much in the press is because it isn't funny, and I love to be funny in interviews. If you joke about that period in your life, it doesn't seem right.
Matthew Perry
5 Likes
When people call you photogenic, they're actually trying to tell you that you look uglier than your pics..
Ritu Ghatourey
1439 Likes
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I WANT A GUY. . . . who would move the hair away from my eyes and then kiss me. hold my hand in line at the mall and make all the girls jealous. someone who would think I was beautiful if I dressed so trashy it was classy. someone who would sing to me at random moments. who would let me sleep on his chest. who knows the right things to say and do at the right times. a boy who would beat the crap out of someone if they called me a b**ch. i want someone who would call me 3 times a day if he went away. he would apologize for calling too much and no matter how many times I tell him its okay, he still does it and I dont get sick of it.
Taylor
35 Likes
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True love is waking up next to your partner and thinking Well, I could smother them with a pillow or make breakfast. Sigh. Pancakes it is.
Unknown
468 Likes
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My New Year's resolution is to never tell you what the person looks like who you kissed on New Year's.
Unknown
27 Likes
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When it comes to war, we focus more on the mainstream coverage of the event, rather than the event itself. People dying is never funny. Protest puppets are always funny.
Mo Rocca
0 Likes
When you don't have a good signal on your phone and you go all lion king on it.
Unknown
133 Likes
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It's funny how you go through the year day by day but nothing changes, then when you look back, everything's different.
Ritu Ghatourey
205 Likes
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s.. is always funny. I don't find it s..y, I find it really horrifying. But it's an act that we need. And that need, that desire, is what makes it really funny.
Elizabeth Banks
2 Likes
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I love yoga pants. Not only are they comfortable, but they make my butt look great.
Unknown
59 Likes
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My daughter's really into the Halloween spirit. She's been in her pregnant lady constume for months now.
Unknown
297 Likes
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When I exercise, I wear all black. It's like a funeral for my fat.
Unknown
137 Likes
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My daughter said she's gonna be a hoe for Halloween. I think it's cute that she likes gardening.
Unknown
234 Likes
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I've never cooked. I can't do much more in the kitchen than make a cup of tea and some toast.
Ethel Merman
5 Likes
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