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Funny Status On Life Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Status On Life" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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It's a recipe for disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny jean fad.
Unknown
842 Likes
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My 'check engine' light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and the engine is still there.
Unknown
546 Likes
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I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching...my car into reverse and driving away from the accident.
Unknown
563 Likes
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Facebook needs a Drama of the day section in my news feed.
Unknown
501 Likes
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Facebook's timeline is my favorite way to watch girls from high school get fat.
Unknown
723 Likes
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Congratulations!! You are the 100th person to view my status. To see your prize please click Control + W.
Unknown
3567 Likes
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Are you free tomorrow? No, Im fu..ing expensive.
Unknown
2521 Likes
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Whatever you do in life, always give 100%...unless you're donating blood...
Unknown
450 Likes
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Always remember that you are unique; just like everyone else.
Unknown
483 Likes
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It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. It's funny how good memories can make you cry, it's funny how forever never seems to last, it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past, it's funny how friends can just leave when you're down, it's funny how when you need someone they never are around, it's funny how people change and think they're so much better, it's funny how some many lies are packed into one love letter, it's funny how one night can hold so much regret, it's funny how you can forgive but not forget, it's funny how ironic life turns out to be, but the funniest part of all, is that none of that is funny to me.
Unknown
565 Likes
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You know how they say when you die, your whole life flashes before you? Well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Unknown
770 Likes
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Women are like internet viruses they enter your life, scan your pocket, edit your mind, download their problems, delete your smile...
Unknown
561 Likes
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Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period.
Unknown
1251 Likes
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I've had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.
Unknown
85 Likes
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If people could read my mind, I'd get punched in the face a lot.
Unknown
1748 Likes
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'Are you as bored as I am?' Makes sense even when you read it backwards...
Unknown
1246 Likes
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Just because I like your Facebook status does not mean I want to sleep, date, or hangout with you...
Oketa Ojok
8034 Likes
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Allowing gay marriages isn't nearly the gayest thing about California.
Unknown
40 Likes
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I read something the other day that made me piss myself. It was a sign that said: 'Bathroom closed.'
Unknown
572 Likes
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Say this out loud five times fast! 'I won a math debate.'
Unknown
616 Likes
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