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Funny Weekend Facebook Statusholes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Weekend Facebook Statusholes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but I'm 4 months pregnant, and its your baby .
Carlos Banks
190 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Sponsored Links
When guys ask you to send a picture of yourself...we're not asking for the one you took with your grandma last night.
Unknown
294 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Keeping It Real quotes
I'm glad there will be an iPhone that's affordable to the sweatshop workers who make iPhones.
Unknown
39 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
My wife and I are trying to have a child. But it's so hard to take one out of Chuck E Cheese without anyone noticing...
Unknown
232 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Theft quotes
Got in a wreck with a smart car today, its totaled. My bike is fine though.
Unknown
308 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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Hurricanes are like women: when they come, they're wet and wild, but when they leave they take your house and car.
Unknown
540 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Started writing poetry the other day. POETR, it's coming along nicely.
Unknown
210 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
I last longer than Obamacare call center wait times.
Unknown
310 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Sex quotes
I wish I could google "things to eat in my fridge" so I wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed.
Unknown
1060 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Where's Kanye West when my parents are giving me a 9376969675949 hour lecture?
Unknown
21 Likes
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Hope you're feeling okay after being s..ually violated by Miley Cyrus last night.
Unknown
67 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Women who complain are like yellow traffic lights. Nobody really pays attention to them.
Unknown
276 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
I'm pretty sure I have a defective iphone 5, I keep pressing the home button and I'm still at work.
Unknown
264 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Wanna hear a joke about my pe..s? Never mind, it's too long.
Unknown
3462 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Short quotes
No I didnt trip The floor looked like it needed a hug.
Unknown
2505 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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I wonder if there will be a day where they were fu..ing sick of making calendars?
Unknown
104 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
End Of The World quotes
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Unknown
1682 Likes
Witty Facebook Status quotes
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I have an eating disorder. I be eatin DIS order of fries, and DIS order of nuggets, and DIS order of wings and so on, so on, you get it.
Unknown
291 Likes
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That awkward moment when you say 'Hey' to someone on facebook chat, and seconds later they sign out. How Rude.
Unknown
538 Likes
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Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
Unknown
1536 Likes
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