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George Carlin Home Made Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "George Carlin Home Made" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work.
George Carlin
8 Likes
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You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
George Carlin
6 Likes
In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
George Carlin
10 Likes
Funny quotes
Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
George Carlin
7 Likes
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
George Carlin
6 Likes
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization
George Carlin
44 Likes
God quotes
Funny Catholic quotes
Sometimes in the past when I played something might make me lose focus, or I would go home after a game where I thought I could have played better and I would let it hang over my head for a long time when it shouldn't. But now, being a parent, I go home and see my son and I forget about any mistake I ever made or the reason I'm upset. I get home and my son is smiling or he comes running to me. It has just made me grow as an individual and grow as a man.
Lebron James
66 Likes
Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac
George Carlin
24 Likes
Funny quotes
Driving quotes
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
George Carlin
4 Likes
If a man smiles all the time, he's probably selling something that doesn't work
George Carlin
6 Likes
Smile quotes
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Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!
George Carlin
10 Likes
Humanity quotes
Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
George Carlin
18 Likes
Addiction quotes
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
George Carlin
11 Likes
Well, I'm kinda like George Carlin. I think that there ought to be a time where everybody should have all the drugs they want and there'd be nobody in charge, sort of like... now!
Paul Haggis
0 Likes
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
George Carlin
3 Likes
Humanity quotes
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I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Where's the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
George Carlin
6 Likes
During that first year, I felt guilty that my wife was out working bringing in all our income, while I was at home playing on the computer, so I made myself treat writing like a job.
George Stephen
0 Likes
If a movie is described as a romantic comedy you can usually find me next door playing pinball.
George Carlin
3 Likes
Movies quotes
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose
George Carlin
5 Likes
Libraries quotes
If a movie is described as a romantic comedy you can usually find me next door playing pinball
George Carlin
0 Likes
Movies quotes
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