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George Carlin Home Made Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "George Carlin Home Made" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.
George Carlin
16 Likes
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I am is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that I do is the longest sentence?
George Carlin
13 Likes
Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain.
George Carlin
61 Likes
Smile quotes
Were having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, were having a swan. You get more stuffing.
George Carlin
4 Likes
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Thanksgiving quotes
We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing.
George Carlin
2 Likes
Funny quotes
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
George Carlin
10 Likes
Truth quotes
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
George Carlin
145 Likes
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When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.
George Carlin
8 Likes
Life quotes
I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it
George Carlin
44 Likes
Suicide quotes
I did stand-up. I loved George Carlin and Steve Martin.
Steve Buscemi
4 Likes
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There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
George Carlin
24 Likes
Moon quotes
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
George Carlin
20 Likes
Money quotes
Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.
George Carlin
1 Likes
Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice?'
George Carlin
17 Likes
Medicine quotes
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Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.
George Carlin
3 Likes
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Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who would be willing to test any drug they could come up with
George Carlin
12 Likes
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Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fu...
George Carlin
76 Likes
Women quotes
The Religious Right dislikes both abortions and homos..uality. But who has fewer abortions than gays?
George Carlin
40 Likes
Funny Gay quotes
When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
George Carlin
6 Likes
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
George Carlin
67 Likes
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