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George Carlin Old Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "George Carlin Old" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
George Carlin
10 Likes
Funny quotes
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Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
George Carlin
7 Likes
Atheism is a non-prophet organization
George Carlin
44 Likes
God quotes
Funny Catholic quotes
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
George Carlin
6 Likes
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
George Carlin
4 Likes
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If a man smiles all the time, he's probably selling something that doesn't work
George Carlin
6 Likes
Smile quotes
Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
George Carlin
18 Likes
Addiction quotes
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Where's the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
George Carlin
6 Likes
Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac
George Carlin
24 Likes
Funny quotes
Driving quotes
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
George Carlin
3 Likes
Humanity quotes
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Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!
George Carlin
10 Likes
Humanity quotes
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
George Carlin
11 Likes
Well, I'm kinda like George Carlin. I think that there ought to be a time where everybody should have all the drugs they want and there'd be nobody in charge, sort of like... now!
Paul Haggis
0 Likes
If a movie is described as a romantic comedy you can usually find me next door playing pinball.
George Carlin
3 Likes
Movies quotes
If a movie is described as a romantic comedy you can usually find me next door playing pinball
George Carlin
0 Likes
Movies quotes
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I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
George Carlin
1 Likes
You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.
George Carlin
21 Likes
The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept.
George Carlin
23 Likes
Lies quotes
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Truth quotes
Dishonesty quotes
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose
George Carlin
5 Likes
Libraries quotes
When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I always wondered who got his horse.
George Carlin
9 Likes
Movies quotes
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