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Jealous Status For Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Jealous Status For" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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If your girlfriend complains that you never take her anywhere expensive...take her to the gas station.
Seth Rogen
570 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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I hope the NSA is concerned about how often my mother calls me.
Unknown
42 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Facebook Status quotes
Diarrhea is hereditary. It runs in your jeans...
Unknown
265 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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Keep your issues in your tissue box, and learn how to keep them out of your status box.
Unknown
157 Likes
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If abortion is murder, then are condoms kidnapping...
Unknown
479 Likes
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You posted a status on your friend's Facebook when he wasn't looking? Please tell me how great of a hacker you are.
Unknown
236 Likes
Sarcastic quotes
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If I had to be any Kardashian sister, I would choose Bruce Jenner.
Unknown
61 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Facebook Status quotes
My ex boyfriends facebook status said 'Suicidal and standing on the edge.' ...So I poked him.
Unknown
1727 Likes
Ex Boyfriend quotes
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Best of luck not getting murdered by the roommate you found on Craigslist.
Unknown
55 Likes
Facebook Status quotes
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I will complain about my privacy being invaded by the government right after I update my dating profile to attract strangers on the internet.
Unknown
57 Likes
Facebook Status quotes
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As I was filling up my gas tank I realized I didn't want to eat this week anyways.
Unknown
296 Likes
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I decided to burn some calories so I set a fat kid on fire.
Unknown
281 Likes
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Our deepest sympathies to Aaron Hernandez's fellow prison inmates on not getting someone as pretty as Tom Brady.
Unknown
47 Likes
Facebook Status quotes
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You wanna cry? Try using a tissue, it works much better than your Facebook status.
Unknown
360 Likes
Witty Facebook Status quotes
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I dont mind ketchup on my hot dog, as long as the bun is tight.
Jon Lajoie
412 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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The Titanic is a great lesson of why just the tip can get you in a lot of trouble.
Nikhil Saluja
487 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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You do not need to be jealous of other people's life, just be confident and trust with your own life destiny.
Unknown
51 Likes
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Somebody needs to start a restaurant called, 'Chick-Fil-Atheist' that's only open on Sunday.
Unknown
215 Likes
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At least my job description doesn't involve repairing the economy or being the new head football coach at Penn State.
Unknown
35 Likes
Facebook Status quotes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Theres a new Facebook app that will post a final status update for you after you die. Thats ridiculous. I dont need someone to change my status when I die. I need them to water my Farmville crops.
Jimmy Fallon
60 Likes
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