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Make Your Ex Jealous Facebook Status Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Make Your Ex Jealous Facebook Status" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
That awkward moment when Pinocchio and Voldemort meet.
Unknown
243 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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I forgot Rihanna's ex-boyfriend's name...Then it hit me...
Unknown
750 Likes
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I really hope that Jessica Biel names her first child 'Batmo.'
Unknown
69 Likes
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My doctor told me not to lift anything heavy for a few weeks. So now I have to sit down when I pee.
Unknown
664 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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Don't ever forget the 'L' if you ever Google, 'Grandfather Clock.'
Unknown
521 Likes
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May your daily meltdown be less public, drug-addled, and cartoonishly insane than Amanda Bynes's.
Unknown
29 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Facebook Status quotes
Telling someone their breath smells without hurting their feelings...'Well I'm bored, let's go brush our teeth!'
Unknown
619 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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I bet the NSA stopped monitoring your phone records after seeing they were all drunk dials to exes at 4 a.m.
Unknown
44 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Facebook Status quotes
If your girlfriend complains that you never take her anywhere expensive...take her to the gas station.
Seth Rogen
570 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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I wonder if Buzz and Woody ever met some of Andy's mom's toys. Especially since they probably have the same names...
Unknown
524 Likes
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Trying to make someone jealous on Facebook usually just makes you look stupid.
Unknown
25 Likes
Diarrhea is hereditary. It runs in your jeans...
Unknown
265 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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You posted a status on your friend's Facebook when he wasn't looking? Please tell me how great of a hacker you are.
Unknown
236 Likes
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Best of luck not getting murdered by the roommate you found on Craigslist.
Unknown
55 Likes
Facebook Status quotes
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My ex boyfriends facebook status said 'Suicidal and standing on the edge.' ...So I poked him.
Unknown
1727 Likes
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If I had to be any Kardashian sister, I would choose Bruce Jenner.
Unknown
61 Likes
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I hope the NSA is concerned about how often my mother calls me.
Unknown
42 Likes
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If abortion is murder, then are condoms kidnapping...
Unknown
479 Likes
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I will complain about my privacy being invaded by the government right after I update my dating profile to attract strangers on the internet.
Unknown
57 Likes
Facebook Status quotes
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I decided to burn some calories so I set a fat kid on fire.
Unknown
281 Likes
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