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My God!funny Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "My God!funny" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
Garrison Keillor
1907 Likes
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God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
Voltaire
20 Likes
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When I was young, I said to God, 'God, tell me the mystery of the universe.' But God answered, 'That knowledge is for me alone.' So I said, 'God, tell me the mystery of the peanut.' Then God said, 'Well George, that's more nearly your size.' And he told me.
George Washington Carver
123 Likes
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When I was young, I said to God, 'God, tell me the mystery of the universe.' But God answered, 'That knowledge is for me alone.' So I said, 'God, tell me the mystery of the peanut.' Then God said, 'Well George, that's more nearly your size.' And he told me.
George Washington Carver
60 Likes
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God put haters on this earth for two reasons: 1. To motivate others. 2. To give no lives a job.
Surgeo Bell
80 Likes
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I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it.
Voltaire
118 Likes
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God gives us only what we can handle.. Apparently God thinks I am a bad-ass.
Unknown
133 Likes
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You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.
Anne Lamott
25 Likes
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You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.
Anne Lamott
17 Likes
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God don't make no mistakes. That's how He got to be God.
Archie Bunker
9 Likes
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It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. It's funny how good memories can make you cry, it's funny how forever never seems to last, it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past, it's funny how friends can just leave when you're down, it's funny how when you need someone they never are around, it's funny how people change and think they're so much better, it's funny how some many lies are packed into one love letter, it's funny how one night can hold so much regret, it's funny how you can forgive but not forget, it's funny how ironic life turns out to be, but the funniest part of all, is that none of that is funny to me.
Unknown
565 Likes
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Deja Vu is when God thinks something is so funny, that he has to rewind it to show it to his friends.
Unknown
509 Likes
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If there were no God, it would have been necessary to invent him.
Voltaire
20 Likes
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It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
Linda Evangelista
0 Likes
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It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God, but to create him.
Arthur C Clarke
12 Likes
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If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.
Woody Allen
15 Likes
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Gray hair is God's graffiti.
Bill Cosby
22 Likes
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If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.
Woody Allen
7 Likes
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If God has cable, we are the 24-hour doofus network.
Unknown
6 Likes
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I am convinced that He (God) does not play dice.
Albert Einstein
3 Likes
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