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Random Facebook Status Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Random Facebook Status" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I would say a crippled joke but I cant stand them.
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109 Likes
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I'm not single and I'm not committed... I'm simply on reserve for the one who deserves...
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102 Likes
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Things that probably shouldn't be broken: 1. Hearts 2. Promises 3. Condoms
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83 Likes
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New condom slogan: Wrap it in latex or she's going to get your paychecks.
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381 Likes
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That awkward moment when you wave and smile at someone but they dont see you.
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112 Likes
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If I am ever in the middle of a shooting, I'll just lay on the floor and act like someone already killed me.
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117 Likes
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That one bug that no matter how times you hit, just won't die.
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46 Likes
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I wish the dollar store sold gas.
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58 Likes
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Dear hoodies, thank you for always being there for me. Sincerely, I'm s..y and I know it, I'm just way too tired to show it.
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85 Likes
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Something is wrong with our government when I see people using food stamps and an iPhone.
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148 Likes
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I feel like getting some work done, so I'm going to sit here until the feeling passes.
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310 Likes
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Don't let life get in the way of your dreams... go back to sleep!
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54 Likes
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Girls are like Jedi's, they can lift things without even touching them...if you know what I mean.
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341 Likes
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Hey people, it's pronounced BOTH, not BOFF. That will be all...
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47 Likes
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When a waitress tells me the plate is hot I can't help but touch it anyway.
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78 Likes
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Hmmm...he looks suspicious...*locks car door*
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34 Likes
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So the Titanic is coming out again but in 3D...I wonder if they will see the iceburg this time...
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178 Likes
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I'm afraid people can see me through my web cam even though its off.
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51 Likes
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I feel like getting something done today, so Im just going to sit here until that feeling passes.
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253 Likes
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The only reason I'd ever move to L.A. is to get away from conversations about the weather changing.
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31 Likes
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