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Rodney Dangerfield Christmas Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Rodney Dangerfield Christmas" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
Rodney Dangerfield
2 Likes
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My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
Rodney Dangerfield
4 Likes
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
Rodney Dangerfield
4 Likes
Drinking quotes
My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
Rodney Dangerfield
2 Likes
I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
Rodney Dangerfield
7 Likes
Cheating quotes
Soul quotes
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I'm so ugly - I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get
Rodney Dangerfield
7 Likes
Ugliness quotes
My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
Rodney Dangerfield
62 Likes
Funny quotes
Parents quotes
I was so poor growing up...if I wasn't a boy...I'd have nothing to play with.
Rodney Dangerfield
13 Likes
Funny quotes
Money quotes
My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
Rodney Dangerfield
8 Likes
I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going.
Rodney Dangerfield
4 Likes
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I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
Rodney Dangerfield
6 Likes
Funny quotes
Sports quotes
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield
24 Likes
Funny quotes
Marriage quotes
I told my psychiatrist everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous; everyone hasn't met me yet
Rodney Dangerfield
34 Likes
Hilarious quotes
Life quotes
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
Rodney Dangerfield
149 Likes
Funny quotes
Weight quotes
Jokes quotes
This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
Rodney Dangerfield
4 Likes
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When I was born ... the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father ... I'm very sorry. We did everything we could ... but he pulled through.
Rodney Dangerfield
65 Likes
Funny quotes
Parents quotes
And the only studies were - Rodney Dangerfield was my mentor and he was my Yale drama school for comedy.
Robert Klein
0 Likes
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.
Rodney Dangerfield
24 Likes
Psychiatry quotes
Humor quotes
My wife met me at the door the other night in a s..y negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
Rodney Dangerfield
4 Likes
Yeah, I know I'm ugly...I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'
Rodney Dangerfield
28 Likes
Funny quotes
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