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Rodney Dangerfield School Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Rodney Dangerfield School" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
Rodney Dangerfield
27 Likes
Marriage quotes
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My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
Rodney Dangerfield
12 Likes
Funny quotes
Dysfunctional Family quotes
Yeah, I know I'm ugly...I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'
Rodney Dangerfield
28 Likes
Funny quotes
Jokes quotes
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
Rodney Dangerfield
19 Likes
Marriage quotes
Wives quotes
Relationships quotes
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
Rodney Dangerfield
32 Likes
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With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
Rodney Dangerfield
152 Likes
Funny quotes
Jokes quotes
Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.
Rodney Dangerfield
0 Likes
Emotion quotes
I had plenty of pi.ples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.
Rodney Dangerfield
87 Likes
Funny quotes
Jokes quotes
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
Rodney Dangerfield
5 Likes
What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
Rodney Dangerfield
5 Likes
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I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
Rodney Dangerfield
19 Likes
Parents quotes
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
Rodney Dangerfield
54 Likes
Parents quotes
Kids quotes
A girl phoned me the other day and said ... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home.
Rodney Dangerfield
34 Likes
Funny quotes
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I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
Rodney Dangerfield
6 Likes
Drink quotes
I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
Rodney Dangerfield
15 Likes
Ugly quotes
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My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
Rodney Dangerfield
7 Likes
Ugly quotes
If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no s.. life at all.
Rodney Dangerfield
6 Likes
Life quotes
If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no s.. life at all.
Rodney Dangerfield
48 Likes
Funny quotes
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My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.
Rodney Dangerfield
3 Likes
At my age, I'm envious of a stiff wind.
Rodney Dangerfield
3 Likes
Funny quotes
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