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Short Mean Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Short Mean Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
The moment when someone jokes about one of your insecurities and you have to pretend like it didn't bother you.
Unknown
179 Likes
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Life is short. Love someone, spread happiness, laugh as much as possible, Forgive and forget, live the life without regret.
Anurag Prakash Ray
81 Likes
Life quotes
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There comes a time in life when you have to let go of all the pointless drama and the people who create it, and surround yourself with people who make you laugh so hard that you forget the bad and focus solely on the good. After all, life is too short to be anything but happy.
Kiara Sellars
341 Likes
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Letting go is hard, but you need to focus on yourself instead of being brought down all the time! Life is too short to love the people that hurt you.
Unknown
98 Likes
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No regrets... just lessons. No worries... just acceptance. No expectations... just gratitude. Life is too short.
Jesse Joseph
119 Likes
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My life is too short not to love the story God has for me!
Unknown
26 Likes
Life quotes
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So many people have no sense of humor, whatsoever! Everyone knows that it is my job to tell the jokes, that's what I do...so if you have thin skin, then I guess we won't be hanging out.
Kathy Griffin
1 Likes
Wanna play a joke on your chiropractor? The next time he starts working on you, go limp and soil yourself.
Mike Wilmot
89 Likes
Funny quotes
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You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.
Tommy Cooper
44 Likes
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This is our lance. See, you're making me laugh about this now, because there have been a few jokes on the set about what they actually look like. But, see, I personally think they'd be a great toy. So... just batteries aren't included.
Kevin Sorbo
4 Likes
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One of the jokes on our flight is that, if we have a normal entry day going, the plan is for me... to actually take the orbiter first and fly it for maybe 10 or 15 seconds and then hand it on over to Scooter.
Duane G Carey
9 Likes
If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that!
Milton Jones
245 Likes
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Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office...I will find you. You have my Word.
Unknown
110 Likes
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You can trust a Neil Simon script. Every dot. Every dash; that pause means something. He takes all the jokes out, practically.
Hector Elizondo
0 Likes
Wit is a weapon. Jokes are a masculine way of inflicting superiority. But humor is the pursuit of a gentle grin, usually in solitude.
Frank Muir
0 Likes
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I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke up this morning and the pillow was gone.
Tommy Cooper
72 Likes
Funny quotes
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I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
Steven Wright
47 Likes
Funny quotes
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So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books.'
Tommy Cooper
17 Likes
Funny quotes
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Did you hear about the new reversible jackets? I can't wait to see how they turn out.
Nikhil Saluja
226 Likes
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My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
Ellen DeGeneres
84 Likes
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