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Stand Up Comedy Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Stand Up Comedy Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
Fred Allen
7 Likes
History quotes
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I used to believe in freedom of speech until I had to pay my first phone bill.
Suli Breaks
128 Likes
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Improvisation is almost like the retarded cousin in the comedy world. We've been trying forever to get improvisation on TV. It's just like stand-up. It's best when it's just left alone. It doesn't translate always on TV. It's best live.
Amy Poehler
3 Likes
Improvisation is almost like the retarded cousin in the comedy world. We've been trying forever to get improvisation on TV. It's just like stand-up. It's best when it's just left alone. It doesn't translate always on TV. It's best live.
Amy Poehler
7 Likes
Your chances of getting struck by lightning go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky, and say "Storms suck!"
Johnny Carson
9 Likes
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Your chances of getting struck by lightning go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky, and say "Storms suck!"
Johnny Carson
15 Likes
Comedy quotes
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Jokes are better than war. Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least aggressive wars. Even the longest jokes are better than the shortest wars.
George Mikes
1 Likes
They have what you call a black night where they have black people come in for just one night only to watch comedy, and you get all your local drug dealers, thugs, prostitutes, all of them come in, sit down, and listen to you tell jokes. They the hardest people to make laugh.
Mike Epps
4 Likes
You see, the way my bank account is set up...
Kevin Hart
294 Likes
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When I was nine, we'd take a bus to the seaside. Coming back, we'd take turns entertaining, singing songs and the like. I tried some stand-up comedy. I had a captive audience in that bus. Then I realized I wanted to do more than that.
Jim Dale
2 Likes
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Rhetoric does not get you anywhere, because Hitler and Mussolini are just as good at rhetoric. But if you can bring these people down with comedy, they stand no chance.
Mel Brooks
3 Likes
Rhetoric quotes
If people would only think of my father's gift of comedy instead of his death, I would love it. I have an album of his stand-up, "Lookin' Good," and no matter how upset I was, anytime, ever, the second I played it he could make me laugh. He was so sharp and spontaneous, so fast!
Freddie Prinze Jr
2 Likes
I feel that after all those horrible reviews and jokes, I wasn't crazy all these years to stand up for the music I believe in. This album has proven that somewhere in the human race, the human heart is still racing and breaking and I am so grateful.
Barry Manilow
12 Likes
Deaf jokes aren't funny, I don't want to hear them.
Unknown
65 Likes
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Always laugh heartily at the jokes your boss tells, it maybe a loyalty test.
Unknown
18 Likes
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I've always been terrible on regular sitcoms with lots of jokes. I don't know how to tell jokes.
Rainn Wilson
4 Likes
For every ten jokes, thou hast got a hundred enemies.
Laurence Sterne
8 Likes
Jokes quotes
The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.
David Ogilvy
40 Likes
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A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes.
Ludwig Wittgenstein
28 Likes
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A difference of taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
TS Eliot
11 Likes
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