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Stand Up Comedy Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Stand Up Comedy Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
I want to write a book which is the history of comedy.
John Cleese
0 Likes
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I'd like to come back because I really miss doing situation comedy.
John Goodman
0 Likes
This world is a comedy to those that think, a tragedy to those that feel.
Horace Walpole
1 Likes
I thought coq au vin was love in a lorry.
Victoria Wood
80 Likes
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I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.
Billy Connolly
142 Likes
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There's an old saying - There's No Place Like Home. Well, I went in the house next door, and it was very similar.
Geoffrey Parfitt
35 Likes
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I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
Jimmy Carter
123 Likes
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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.
Oscar Levant
93 Likes
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Hmm. I'm still not very good at algebra...I just can't figure out Y.
Unknown
69 Likes
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Happy April 1st everyone! May your day be filled with obnoxious practical jokes.
Unknown
7 Likes
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I slept like a log last night. I woke up in the fireplace.
Tommy Cooper
20 Likes
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Foot: A special device for finding furniture in the dark.
Unknown
29 Likes
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The aim of a joke is not to degrade the human being, but to remind him that he is already degraded
George Orwell
6 Likes
Jokes quotes
Im sorry I mistook all our laugh, sweet texts and jokes as you caring. I'll think twice before I waste my time again. But its over now.
Unknown
72 Likes
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Steven Wright
461 Likes
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The fastest way to make your own Anti-freeze is to hide her nightgown.
Unknown
24 Likes
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I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once.
Mitch Hedberg
3 Likes
Want to hear the joke about the vacuum? Nevermind...It sucks.
Unknown
204 Likes
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I've got a very poor sense of direction. I keep forgetting which way is forwards.
Geoffrey Parfitt
13 Likes
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I don't want to be 60 years old standing on stage telling some jokes. I want my life to mean something.
Steve Harvey
19 Likes
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